Bon Jovi Figurines Coming Soon
They’re finally here, folks — the long-awaited “Bon Jovi Action Figurines!” From Spawn.com:
The legacy that Bon Jovi has created over the last three decades is an undeniable force in American rock music. While many bands from the 80s have been relegated to the history books, Bon Jovi’s evolution has bridged the gap of generations and made them one of the truly indelible names in rock ‘n’ roll. Available August 2007.
The artist behind these dolls definitely captured the sexual ambiguity that is “washed-up eighties hair band leftovers.” Accurate to the last detail, from the skin-tight pants to feathery coif. The best part is that the microphone in Jon Bon Jovi’s hand can actually be replaced with the Richie Sambora figurine’s penis. Talk about realistic! Forget Tickle Me Elmo and Furbie — these little gems are going to be the hot Christmas ‘07 must-have gift. I’d go ahead and reserve yours today, unless you want to get stuck giving cliched stocking stuffers like Benwah butt balls and crystal meth to the suicidal queer in your life. Bo-ring!
P.S. To show just how much the Sambora doll favors Richie, I’ve included a few pics of him at the beach. It’s almost eerie, it’s so accurate!
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
Are they going to be anatomically correct?
If they are, each figurine had better come with it’s own magnifying glass.
Apr 9th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
“Bon Jovi’s evolution has bridged the gap of generations and made them one of the truly indelible names in rock ‘n’ roll…”
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally? all that out of Living on A Prayer and that Young Gay….err Guns soundtrack?
Apr 9th, 2007
RichPort
New Jersey’s Finest. Yes, I know that’s an oxymoron.
Apr 9th, 2007
Tine
Jon looks like a Indigo Girl - classic!
Apr 9th, 2007
Bah Humbug
Bah! Humbug! I don’t call multi platinum albums, top ten and number one singles, and sold out arenas across the world and america washed up.
Now, that Sambora needs to get in shape to be hanging out with someone who has a body that hot… yes.
Apr 9th, 2007
Rosie
I love Bon Jovi, but what about the rest of the band?
Richie does need to work out and he needs to dump the wacko. Maybe after the mid life crisis passes.
Jon’s body however is looking fine. I saw them at HEinz Field last summer and he is aging very well.
Apr 10th, 2007
caro
Salut
je trouve que les figurines sont très bien faites.Elles sont supers belles, cé sûr que je vais m’en procurer. La seule affaire cé qui les 2 po rapports sur cette page le vieux pédo et la jeune pitoune! Ils gâchent la page!
en passant vous êtes une gang de jaloux! Moi je les aime beaucoup et beaucoup beaucoup de personnes les apprécient!
Facque vos yeules tabarnack
Apr 17th, 2007
Michaela
I absolutely love bon jovi…i am obsessed!!! i love the action figures but where is Tico, David, and Hugh??? you cant forget them!!!]
-Bon Jovi Fan 4ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever…etc
Apr 19th, 2007
Kristen
I agree with Michaela. I am 26 yrs old and LOVE Bon Jovi. I have even gotten my 6 yr old loving him. I wish that his unplugged series would come out on cd. Bon Jovi rules!!!!!!!!!
Aug 19th, 2007
Jeff Solle
I beat off to the pictures of the Bon Jovi figurine.
Imagine the fun I will have when they ship!!
Nov 18th, 2007
jeff solle
DAMN!!! I’ve had alot of fun since I got my Bon Jovi doll!!!! That Richie Sambora doll is sexy too…. between John Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora???…..I got nothing left for my wife. I’m a retard freakin hobitt who masturbates to dolls of 1980-90 rock icons……P.S. I LOVE THE BENGALS!!!!!
Jan 6th, 2008
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