Lindsay Lohan’s penchant for out-of-control boozing apparently runs in the family, because mommy Dina Lohan spent an entire weekend in Miami getting wasted with a bunch of twenty-year olds. According to Page Six:

Dina Lohan headed to Miami last weekend [where she] partied like a teenager… On Friday, she and friends drank poolside at the Shore Club before moving on to Grass, where she ordered bottle service for her table and stayed for hours. The next night, she and a group of 20-somethings hit Suite, where they downed vodka and cranberry drinks and champagne - racking up a $750 bill.

Having a drunken whore for a mother isn’t all bad, I guess. It definitely made field trips interesting back in grade school. There was that time I was supposed to go to the Smithsonian with my 7th grade social studies class, but on the way up to D.C., mom got so hammered that she vomited into our tour guide’s hair. They had to pull the bus over in Alexandria so the guide could wash out the puke. Even without the chunks, though, there was just no way around the stank of spiced rum and stomach acid. Poor woman. And later, mom flashed her tits at one of the museum security cameras and tried to get Indiana Jones’ fedora out of its display case by offering a lap dance to any boy willing to smash it. The highlight of the trip was her subsequent rendition of the “Indiana Jones narrow-escape forward roll” that finished with her crashing through some velvet ropes and brass stands and required sixteen stitches. I have to admit she was right, though — it just didn’t work without the hat.