Natalie Portman’s Boob Disappoints
So half of Natalie Portman’s boob is being squished out of the bottom of her bikini top, and you can even make out a pretty good pokey there, but somehow it’s not sexy. Mystifying. Natalie is beautiful, and she’s in fantastic shape, and it’s a booby, for Christ’s sake, but still… I got nothing. It’s like that time my boyfriend wrapped a couple of rubber bands around his penis to see how big he could make it. Sounds sexy, right? I mean, who doesn’t like seeing a big wiener? And it got pretty damn big, too, before it broke a couple of blood vessels near the base and made the skin underneath the head turn purple and split in few places. So there I was — face to face with a monster erection — and rather than being aroused, I just threw up a little and had to call 911. His screaming like woman and pawing at his groin didn’t exactly help matters, either. It’s the same principle behind the disappointing Natalie Portman boob you see here. I’m afraid it just defies logic.
More of Natalie and her unsexy booby after the jump
15 Comments, Comment or Ping
Dragulf
She is cute. and rich. I’d marry her.
Apr 11th, 2007
fatback
Blood vessels popping? Dayum girl. Use duct tape.
Apr 11th, 2007
Dizzle
Fantastic shape? Are you on crack. Tell her to work out and tone up. Please. About 80% of the chicks at my work at hotter than that meatloaf.
Apr 11th, 2007
Dee Bee
She looks 12 years old…
Apr 11th, 2007
RichPort
Decent lower half, but she doesn’t exactly put the light in my saber.
Apr 11th, 2007
oshkosh
I feel exactly like I did when I saw my cousin getting out of the shower and then we made out: awesome.
Apr 11th, 2007
AngelBaby
i’m fairly certain these pics are older than most of anna nicole’s ex-boyfriends.
Apr 11th, 2007
alexandre
Are you kidding? She is smoking hot… and pretty… and happy.
I know your kind of animal. You prefer fake boobs and plastic happiness, and treat people like disposable peace of meat.
Leave her alone. She is happy, you are miserable.
Apr 12th, 2007
ferris209
I think she is really cute in the face, but I have always felt she needs to get a boob job and gain about 20 lbs so she can get some curves. I hate anorexic chicks, hopefully curves are coming back.
Apr 12th, 2007
Bubbles
…arent’ these photos like 5 yrs old?
Apr 12th, 2007
Jbird
I’m not surprised. She’s always left me a little flat, which is weird, since my reaction the first time I saw her was “WOW - too gorgous to be real”. BTW, I wanna know where Dizzle works: “80% of the chicks at my work at hotter than that”. Are they accepting applications?
Apr 13th, 2007
Don
I think those pics are pretty old…like…5 years ago, as Bubbles mentioned. So whoever says she is fat, I don’t think she looks like that now.
But I’d still hit it. chubby or not. chubby, or not.
LOL
Apr 13th, 2007
Shauna
I think she has such a wonderful grace, and elegance about her. Fake boobs are a dime a dozen but she has almost a Audrey Hepburn quality about her. I hope she never gives into pressure and gets bolt on boobs. btw- a bandau top is never very flattering to smaller busted women, it scrunches you down and flattens you. Kind of like cold water on a man’s bits.
Apr 14th, 2007
Helly
Chubby? CHUBBY?!! Man alive, she’s nowhere near to being chubby - you people need to take your eyes out and wash them.
Apr 16th, 2007
ben
ru mad ! she’s so hot, u guyz just want a biatch who is chubby and eu…..
o man she ’s nice and slow and i like it , specialy when she cut her hair..
Nov 1st, 2008
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