Jessica Biel is a MAN, Baby!
Tags: Jessica Biel
At this point, my vagina is leaning back in a chair after tossing its pencil on the desk and shaking its head, saying, “Look, I just don’t know what to tell you, man.” You would think that you couldn’t go wrong with pictures of Jessica Biel in a see-through sweater. You’d think it was a lock. Wrong. Even though I’m staring straight at bosoms in a brassiere, the first thing that pops into my head when I see this picture of Jessica is man. You know, like in the second Terminator — the camera angle from “inside” the terminator’s head that allows you to see all the data he processes as he scans something over — the initial data feedback to my brain reads “broad shoulders… broad chest… prominent jaw… possible penis?” Like when psychologists have you do that “free association” thing, they’d show me this picture of Jessica and I’d instantly say, “Ball sack.” See what I mean? And then they’d show me a picture of a kitten and I’d say, “gasoline fire,” and one of children playing soccer and I’d say, “intestines.” That’s when they’d sedate me and put the straps around my wrists so I don’t hurt myself again.
More of the man after the jump
23 Comments, Comment or Ping
beerdotcom182
I was okay with the children and the intestines but the kitten and the gasoline thing is crossing a line.
Apr 12th, 2007
Dragulf
It’s a man baby!
Apr 12th, 2007
abby
So you’re saying you’re against kittens? And fossil fuels? You gotta pick your battles, I guess.
Apr 12th, 2007
mish
Yeah, I agree that the kittens thing is too much. She is manly though, it’s been talked about for a while.
Apr 12th, 2007
CarpePancakes!
Well then I must be super gay, because I’m completely in love with Jessica Biel. If I somehow managed to get her back to my appartment, and it turned out she had an actual penis, I’d probably shrug it off thinking at leaset we have something in common.
Apr 12th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Doooode, that’s a dude!
Apr 12th, 2007
CruisingforCock
CarpePancakes! You just might be gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Apr 12th, 2007
assman
if that is a man then I am gay cause I would fuck her in a second. She has the best ass in hollywood, her tits are amazing and her stomach is awesome. Def has the hottest face too, she is handsdown the hottest girl in hollywood.. Def want to fuck the hell out of her and make her pregnant to mark my territory
Apr 12th, 2007
www.celebritypwn.com
Yeah, this blog post is stupid. Shes hot here too. Just stupid outfit. Jealous chick’s cause biel actually works out and is very fit.
Apr 13th, 2007
Goliano
You’re on crack if you see man anywhere on her.
Apr 13th, 2007
lookwhaticando
She’s Extremly Hot and looks ZERO like a dude,, Dude
Apr 13th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Nope
Apr 13th, 2007
fox
I’d take Scarlett over her, but Jessica’s definitely a hottie. A man? Surely you jest.
Apr 13th, 2007
JBsSecretLover
It’s obvious why you look at Jessica Biel and think “man.” She is so unbelievably gorgeous that even you want to have sex with her. It’s the only way your mind can process the irresistible response.
Apr 14th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Sorry, but I prefer my females to actually, let me see how I can put this, yeah, not have a penis.
But you go ahead.
Apr 14th, 2007
biellll
Wonder how many guys have fucked her? Think she makes them wear condoms? How old do u think she was when she first let a guy fuck that hot ass of hers? How big do you think her penis is?
Apr 14th, 2007
Shauna
She has super bulked up thighs. It comes from a lot of lunges. I know. She has to sit “up” as well because the back of her thighs are also very hard. But she is in supreme shape!! Good for her!. If her hair were worn down, and looser then a lot of the “man” comments might not be circulating around. She would be the type to really look great sans clothing unlike the pencil girls who look great in clothes.
Apr 14th, 2007
Sorceressss
I’d freaking kill for that body….
Apr 14th, 2007
guapeton
a little too much time at the gym perhaps, but definitely not a man…
http://solaris.pnt.net/images/jessica_biel_08.jpg
Apr 16th, 2007
TheExpatriot
Those clothes over-accentuate her physical strength. In loose clothes, in jeans and T-shirt, she looks fabulous.
Apr 17th, 2007
GoreMotel
I always thought she looked like a man. She gets a lot of play here lately, but I also know a lot of people who are turned on by Ashlee Simpson. And Chyna Doll. Also, just because she’s “hot” doesn’t mean she’s not a guy. Go to a drag show or two, those ladies are FIERCE! And, in many cases, more feminine than this.
Apr 18th, 2007
Curlybob
As far as I am concerned Jessica is a perfect speciman of womanhood. As for the person who said she has big thighs take a look at her bikini pictures.Pure perfection.
Apr 21st, 2007
fuckJessicaBiel
I’ve always thought Biel is a fucking tranny . thanks for pointing that out!
Aug 18th, 2007
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