Jessica Biel’s Ass Speaks for Itself

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I don’t know what’s going on here because I did absolutely no research whatsoever, but I figured Jessica Biel’s ass pretty much speaks for itself in any given situation. Like in this picture, it’s telling me that you can never overdress when taking your dog to the park for a game of fetch or croquet or whatever the hell it is she’s doing. Rowr. And then it’s also telling me that you can’t trust little people because they steal. I don’t know any midgets personally, but I’m sure a behind like hers only spouts gospel truth and maybe makes chirpy little Charro-type noises whenever she walks away, so it’s obviously true.

More of Biel’s caboose after the jump

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39 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Her ass is telling me to stick my wiener in her brown eye.

    Is it too early for that kind of comment?

  2. RichPort

    OB, no it’s actually never too early for that comment concerning that ass, which is precisely why you’d need to crowbar me off of her first. She puts the ASS in mASSive embarASSment, which is what will happen to me if I decide to stand up in the next 10 minutes or so.

  3. abby

    Her ass told me to rob a liquor store at four in the morning. I couldn’t tell it no.

  4. RichPort

    That’s odd Abby, her ass told me to masturbate at work at I couldn’t muster up the will power to refuse either.

  5. beerdotcom182

    If I was that dog in the 2nd and 3rd pics I’d be paying less attention to the ball and more attention to furiously humping her leg.

  6. Somebody spank her! Quick!

  7. Diego

    I finally understand all the comments I have heard about the magnificance that is Jessica Biel’s ass. Standing straight up she could rest a beer on it.

  8. lookwhaticando

    Her body is beyond HOT, she does have the azz of life.

  9. john

    she’s not overdressed
    i think it’s a polo match
    looks like a polo ball and mallet

  10. bionic bunny

    john, those are awfully small horses!

    i have been sick to death of her ass. but she looks damn good here. if i had her ass, i’d overdress to walk the dog, too.

  11. Dodgemagnum

    She should walk around in a thong and she should also be my wife!

  12. Aladdin

    Sorry Genie but I’d rather rub that than your lamp anytime.
    Aladdin

  13. john b.

    We’ve all heard of cunnilingus, but Jessica’s ass is just calling out for bungilingus.

  14. bionic bunny

    that dress would look great on mistress abby….
    ;)

  15. razzz

    it is croquet. that is why she is looking so fine. not polo. (quality english sport) mallets plus croquet plus hooops is excellent. PIms o CloCK!!!!

  16. GirlyGirl

    I would totally do her. I’m pretty sure my husband would have no problem with that! She does have quite an unbelievable ass…

  17. [Fug Face Man!ston]

    Nice ass.. To bad she looks like a man.

  18. Clarence Thomas

    Hot damn!! That’s a whole lotta ass for a white girl.

  19. dras

    The perfect sex machine. Going both ways with her would be any humans wildest dream. She is the perfect cure for all the hate in our world. One weekend with her and you’ll find the bible in the trash can.
    Talk about born again

  20. ddugan

    That ass has made me forget to bathe or nourish myself.

  21. stork

    get a grip, fellas’…I’ve seen better asses pulling covered wagons across the plains of Oklahoma…

  22. I saw her ass on Stealth and made me want to watch that movie.

  23. wett…. her ass is so fine, i wanna fuck her in the poop chute!

  24. Jessica Biel’s ass needs to be kissed all over, spread open, licked and eaten! Like ripe watermelon, the best part is the center!

  25. shawnofdadead

    damn i want to put my tongue all in her asshole…i mean wow - its perfect

  26. I heard that Jason Timberlake kicked her to the curb. What the hell is he smoking but this dude is running through thhe hollywood hoes like Carter runs through liver pills.

  27. Vena

    She has ass implants! And yes, ass implants are common now! I don’t understand why it’s so hard to realize this! Don’t any of you have experience with asses?? They don’t suddenly blow up after you have already reached puberty! She was never known for having a big ass before and now all of a sudden in the last year or whatever she is being compared to j-lo! get real, that ass is fake and I would put money on it!

  28. Jim

    Vena your just gay, either your a woman with no ass and jealous or your a guy that likes women with no ass,

  29. Ray

    Vena,

    that ass is not fake. If you look at old 7th heaven episodes where she is like 16 years old before she became a star she had a nice ass. I’ve never pleasured myself for 4 hours straight til 3 in the morning on a weeknight like I have with this chik. One word: PERFECT!!

  30. intheknow

    hate to lay it on ya….but i can tell you for a fact they’re implants…but hey…who cares…..if they look good they look good :-)

  31. I want to make sexy time with the ass…consent or otherwise

  32. Jeffrey Rodriguez

    More important than her ass, is the continued mangling of the use of the word “your” IT’S YOU ARE, OR YOU’RE for Christ’a sake!!!! when YOU’RE referring to someone other than the possessive!!!!!

  33. Eagle 1

    That ass is just way to mind blowing. i cant even look at it without popping one. not to mention her full C’S!!!

  34. Chris

    Her ass is seriously one of the nicest asses I have ever seen. Her, Jennifer Lopez, and Kim Kardashian have a serious competition going. But other then the ass, Jessica Biel hands down has the best overall body. It’s amazing. I would bang her out of any celebrity there is. She is the hottest woman to walk the earth.

  35. thanks for the GREAT post! Very useful…

  36. lila

    I LOVE THAT ASS! i wish i had an ass. her ass told me to masturbate and have sex with my bf!

  37. If I hadn’t already jacked off today this would be a nice way to get started . . .

  38. She needs a damn good fnck in the asshole. I’m gonna spray spunk all over it in a few minutes!

  39. jerry kinella

    Happiness is standing directly behind Jessica Biel on a crowded elevator while she wearing a thong.

    Lord, that girl has an ass that is begging for an old fashioned spanking, followed but a butt-fucking!

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