May 4, 200715
Special Edition — Paris Hilton’s Going to Jail!
I’m about to go get sloshed to celebrate Mexican independence from France, because I’m a multi-cultural enthusiast and because Cinco de Mayo is more of a “week-long binge-fest” than a “one-day excuse to get piss-drunk” for me, but first, this just in — Paris Hilton’s going to jail for driving on a suspended liscense!! Wheee! TMZ reports:
A judge has ordered Paris to jail for 45 days! She will begin her sentence on June 5.
Even if you aren’t a multicultural patriot like me, I think Paris Hilton in the pokey is cause enough to celebrate Mexican independence a day early. Enjoy your weekends and your booze, you snarky bastards! Oh, happy day!
15 Comments, Comment or Ping
sonya
Wheeee! Justice!!!
May 4th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
I’m also getting sloshed ’cause Mexican Independence from Communist Russia is a triumph for democracy and I’m a raging alcoholic!!!!
As for Paris, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, karma’s a bitch, now get ready to munch on some multicultural gang-affiliated rug, whore.
May 4th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Awesome, awesomely, awsomest news for a Friday night. I hope she makes friends easy.
Cinco de Mayo? Does that have something to do with Mexican mayonnaise?
May 4th, 2007
bionic bunny
now i KNOW there is a GOD!!!
HIGH FIVES AND TEQUILA ALL AROUND!!
seriously, can you just see her striking her pose in front of a bunch of bull dykes? not that there’s anything wrong with that!
did you guys see her mom on the news? sadly, that was the top story at 5:00 here in lala land.
mommie dearest was ranting and raving about how ridiculous the whole thing was, billions of dollars wasted, blah, blah. there’s the problem, right there. this is what happens in country where we have “reasonable discussions” with naughty two year olds.
this just makes my day!
May 4th, 2007
Ybambi
Actually Cinco de Mayo It’s not the Independence from France, they never owned us. It’s a celebration of a battle we won against the French, and a good excuse to get really drunk.
May 5th, 2007
mermaid
Showing up ten minutes late for court? Her stupid mother asking for the prosecuter’s autograph? Shows how little respect they have for the law. Anyone else would have been put in jail for contempt of court.
May 5th, 2007
musik
That will be so much fun! Like Simple Life adfinitum!
… or maybe giving money that will be easy for her.
p.d. I really dont understand why you americans celebrates 5 de mayo, here in mexico is a day with school and work.
May 5th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
“p.d. I really dont understand why you americans celebrates 5 de mayo, here in mexico is a day with school and work.”
It’s a combination of beer companies and marketing.
May 5th, 2007
GreenEyed
Now Paris and Joe Francis can share their stories of gang rape and humiliation in jail. Just one more reason for me to get completely HAMMERED today!
May 5th, 2007
bionic bunny
did anybody else wake up this morning covered in guacamole and a corona bottle up their ass?
May 6th, 2007
Osbourne Black
No Miss Bunny. I did have lime wedges between my teeth though.
May 6th, 2007
CruisingforCock
I woke up with Cock in the mouth but I think it unrelated.
May 6th, 2007
beerdotcom182
Yes! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…………Hahahaahahahahaahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahaha!!!
May 7th, 2007
Pete
Looks like she’ll get lesbian gangraped in there … The only thing that could make this even better it that someone videotapes it and brings it out for cash.
May 7th, 2007
bionic bunny
of course they will, pete…
haven’t you ever heard of CELL phones?????
hahahahahahhahaha!
cruising, OB, glad to hear you both had a good weekend!!!
May 7th, 2007
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