Paris Hilton Explains Her Sentence
As I reported earlier, Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail on Friday for violating her probation. According to Paris, however, the sentence had less to do with her breaking the law and more to do with cops wanting to fuck her. She told Harper’s Bazaar:
“I get in more trouble because of who I am. The cops do it all the time. They’ll just pull me over to hit on me. It’s really annoying. [The cops are] like, ‘What’s your phone number? Want to go out to dinner?’ “
Well, I’m sure L.A. cops who want a midday blowjob plan their day around Paris Hilton’s schedule. The odds of getting some head are pretty high when you’re pulling over a known whore. Even higher than picking up some of those tranny meth whores down on Sunset. But I hate when someone unfairly plays the victim, especially when there actually are victims of such police injustice. Like me, for example. Cops pull me over all the time just to hit on me. I know it’s not because my tags are expired and I’m missing a tail light and there’s usually smoke pouring out of the windows and I don’t have insurance, but because of my smokin’ hot bod and my irresistible sex appeal. Beauty can be both a privilege and a curse, you know. Thank God for wieners, the one thing unites women everywhere! Even the ugly and wonky-eyed praying mantis types like Paris Hilton.

3 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
I want to be a celebrity so fucking bad I can taste it. Even if it’s a faux celebrity like Paris Hilton.
I want the paparazzi following my every move. Snapping pictures at the most Inopportune times. Asking me inane questions.
PLEASE GOD, MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!
May 7th, 2007
beerdotcom182
I want someone to shank her in prison so bad. Please God, make it happen!
May 7th, 2007
bionic bunny
beer, i’m sure it will be a new game in the exercise yard:
“shank the skank”.
you know, even she really does go to jail, they’ll have her in one of those celeb jail cells like they did with O.J. and michael jackson. she’ll come out of there more insufferable than ever. the best we can hope for is that body cavity search and de-lousing (hmmm. when the de-louse her, will she just melt into a puddle and disappear down the drain?).
May 7th, 2007
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