Star Jones Gives Lap Dances
If getting mauled by a bear has always been your greatest fear, then you obviously haven’t considered the horror that is having Star Jones rub her hoo-ha all over you in public. The New York Observer caught the newly-svelte View star grinding on gay husband Al Reynolds at the post-Kentucky Derby Stereo Party, saying:
“It was around 2 a.m.–Star Jones, clad in a black mini-skirt was getting freaky with her husband Al Reynolds… Mr. Reynolds was gyrating up against Mrs. Jones’ backside, his hand positioned oddly on top of her head, while hers clutched the back of his thigh.”
That’s one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard. Or seen, for that matter. I guess Al went for the head because it was the only part of her body not dripping with reams of loose skin. I bet watching her grinding live was like watching a pebble hit the surface of the water in slow motion — a steady ebb of ripples spreading out in gentle waves with each horrible thrust and gyration. You could probably do a whole physics course just on Star Jones’ arm flab alone. You could use that bat wing skin to explain how capillary waves have wavelengths so short that the liquid’s motion is governed almost entirely by surface tension forces:
The wavelength of a ripple must be less than 
where γ is surface tension and ρ is liquid density and λc = Star Jones is a disgusting freak. Science, baby! I knew that physics degree would come in handy one of these days!
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
I’m disgusted by the vision I’m getting of the snail-trails she left on his pant leg.
May 8th, 2007
spatz
thats the most horrifying thing i’ve seen or heard in a very long time.
big gay al up there looks almost as mortified as i lfelt while reading this story.
May 8th, 2007
alice b.
dood he’s in AGONY. look at his face, especially in the first pic!!! that cracks me the fuck up.
May 8th, 2007
bionic bunny
yeah, he looks like he’s going to be sick.
i think i may be, too.
May 8th, 2007
EM
That picture is from nearly a year ago. Your own quote says that Star was wearing a black mini-skirt. What are you trying to pull?
May 8th, 2007
?
Yea, it’s a year old…
http://worldofstaci.blogspot.com/2005/12/star-jones-trys-to-give-sexy-lap-dance.html
May 8th, 2007
lisa
Go girl! Star can do WHATEVER she wants with HER husband! He doesn’t look to me like he’s clawin to get away. Well…the first pic looks like he’s hurtin a little, but hey…who cares really and why is a wife sitting on her husband’s lap news worthy.
May 8th, 2007
bionic bunny
ahem. big gay al.
strange mummified used to be fat woman.
and, no, you can’t do anything you want to do with your husband in public.
i’ve got the ticket to prove it.
May 9th, 2007
huhsaywhat?
these pics are extemely old
May 9th, 2007
lady garden
old they may be but he is defo doing a dump
May 10th, 2007
elle
She’s a beast. Not because she was once fat, but her personality. She dissed atheists once, and since I am one, it really made me not want to ever go to payless while she was on their payroll. And then the bit about her wedding – that was just more.
Please tell me how people like her become pop culture stars?
May 8th, 2008
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