Kelly Clarkson, Now With Even MORE Ass
Tags: kelly clarkson
Since it’s been awhile since I got a frothy I-hate-you-you-stupid-bitch email telling me to “go eat another protein bar on the treadmill” or “make myself purge until me die from dehydration,” I figure it’s about time I made fun of Kelly Clarkson again. Here she is on MTV’s TRL yesterday. All three hundred and seventy pounds of her, wrapped in shiny fabric and encased in leggings. Yum. Word on the street is Clive Davis hated her album and wanted to scrap it entirely, and that there were all kinds of tension between her and her management during production, but Kelly felt that she had to stick to her “artistic vision” in the end. Which is hilarious, really, because everyone knows fat girls don’t have “artistic visions.” Unless the vision also includes a bucket of KFC and a box of eclairs and elastic waist pants with thigh-chafing guards. High five!
More of Tubby on TRL and The Today Show after the jump
29 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Was she wheeled into the studio or did she roll in under her own power?
yeah, classic fat jokes *hi-five*
May 10th, 2007
Osbourne Black
*checking watch* Yep, another stars 15 minutes of fame is coming to a close.
May 10th, 2007
RichPort
Wasn’t she borderline hot at one point, on the cover of Blender, or was that Photoshop wizardry akin to making Mariah thin or Paris busty?
May 10th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/10/04/kelly_Clarkson_051004013550179_wideweb__300×375,0.jpg
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/10/04/kelly_Clarkson_051004013550179_wideweb__300×375,0.jpg
Check those out (hope they work), hmmmmmmmmmmmm, I suppose she was semi-tappable, before she decided to start eating whole cows and taking butter intravenously.
May 10th, 2007
litelysalted
Hey fatties, out there: don’t be a hater. Once over on my site I made fun of a lady who was so fat she didn’t even know she was pregnant, and all the fatties got up in arms about it. It was then and only then that any sensitivity towards fat people I had went right the fuck out the window.
Hey Slim, did “new tits” Git R Done for ya?
May 10th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Well done, you are not on duty today? How’s that gonna work anyway, is it an alternate days thing?
May 10th, 2007
sonya
That Merlin’s cape thing she’s wearing is definitely not flattering.
May 10th, 2007
Dragulf
Up in arms about it. Haha! Who is this again.
My first thought on reading that headline was ‘it gets bigger?’
May 10th, 2007
litelysalted
Abby’s writing today. But I’ll be back next Wednesday, the whole following week after that, and another week in June. The rest is up in the air; pretty much whenever Abby needs relief!
May 10th, 2007
Osbourne Black
If Abby needs relief, she can take a Rolaids.
How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S
Don’t make me crack that whip again!
May 10th, 2007
beerdotcom182
Excellent…..just a few more pounds and she’ll be in my league…..Mwuhahahaha!
May 10th, 2007
sonya
Well OB, maybe abby need the OTHER kind of relief. I hear Tux soothes on contact.
May 10th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Or perhaps Abby can use a dab of Preparation H.
May 10th, 2007
Valarie
OMG!!! That makes me sooo mad! Kelly is perfect! She’s beautiful! She cud be the fattest person EVER and still be amazing! Wow…immature ppl these days! I love ya Kel
May 20th, 2007
ViriiGuy
Fat???
That is not fat, hell I would tap that ass, and her mom’s ass too, just for good measure.
May 24th, 2007
KELLYYOUAREHOT
Whoa Kelly is freaking SMOKING HOT. She has a cute face and an ass you can actually grab. You guys probably like those flat ass chicks, with no curves. UGHHHHH.
Sep 6th, 2007
Hale Mauricio
see it’s very define,your one of a kin. Hale Mauricio.
Sep 19th, 2007
boysetsfire
i think you’re all pathetic to sit and revel in someone else’s misfortune. then again, i’m posting here…anyway my point is, you guys should not be excited about her gaining weight unless it was in some sort of positive way. if she enjoys the weight gain, then yes. we all know she doesn’t, but at the same time she is sick of working out constantly to stay thin.
Oct 20th, 2007
Frederik Kyleigh
our way to beautiful gir. Frederik Kyleigh.
Oct 21st, 2007
RAB28
Yo all of y’all need to start openening your eyes - this girl is hot, yeh she aint no skinny chick, but she is sooo fine and pretty, she has got it going on
Dec 31st, 2007
Eamonn Stewart
Kelly Clarkson aint fat just coz shes not an anorexic little cow i was at her gig 2 nights ago in Glasgow, Scotland and damnnnn shes finneee !!
Mar 21st, 2008
ken tyson
Hi, kelly has a nice and lovely and lickly ass
I love her ass, i love her ass, her ass is my heart!!!!!
Apr 18th, 2008
Dude
Kelly looks fine. The word “fat” is reserved for FAT people like that hawaiian dude on “Lost,” and the author’s girlfriend.
And as for her 15 minutes of fame goes: That implies she had only ONE fleeting moment of stardom. Last time I checked, she won Idol (1), had a multi-platinum album (2) and later released ANOTHER multi-platinum album (3).
I’m the first to admit she may have screwed herself with this last album, but only time will tell. Even if that’s the case, I think that’s a TAD more than 15 minutes.
Jun 17th, 2008
Mike
I wonder how many of you pigs are fat from playing WoW all day and all night. I’m sure some of you can walk out of a funhouse with an application
Dec 14th, 2008
Gustavo Mendoza
I’d do her!
Jan 14th, 2009
Dan
I love girls with a nice ass and curves. Kelly has some of that, but you guys dissin her because of her average weight (yeah I bet she is about average in weight, maybe slightly above) are really truely pathetic. Even as a joke, its still really fucking lame and not funny.
Jan 30th, 2009
Max
There is nothing like a sexy babe with nice curves and sexy ass…god i hate paper thin chicks!!
Mar 29th, 2009
rose
holy fuck all of you guys that wrote something mean should all shove something up your ass kelly clarkson is the best at what she does and doesnt need any bitches saying shes fat which she isnt if shes fat then what do we call queen latifa no you guys only pick pn the people you think you can get away with you pussy grow some balls i bet your fat and put this up to make you feel better
May 16th, 2009
Jeff
Damm she is fat!
Jun 4th, 2009
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