Avril Lavigne Needs an Ass Kicking
Tags: Avril Lavigne
Consistently assy Avril “Douchebag” Lavigne threw a piss party at Maxim’s Hot 100 Party last week because apparent rivals Hilary and Haylie Duff showed up at the same time as her, despite “handlers” attempts to keep them apart. MNSBC Reports:
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen, according to Metro New York, and Lavigne threatened to storm out of the party. They were scheduled to come to the event at different times, but a rep told the mag, the rivals “unfortunately arrived at the same time.”
The situation created some “definite tension,” and not long afterwards, an upset Avril was “threatening to take off” and “driving everyone crazy.”
You know, I heard a snippet of Avril’s new song “Girlfriend” over the weekend and it finally occurred to me why I loathe her so much. When I was a Senior in high school, a couple of idiot poseur Freshman girls (who Avril totally reminds me of) went around bragging about how they were going to steal my boyfriend. That is, until I cornered one of them and threatened to kick her teeth in; to the delight of about 20 onlookers. Then all of a sudden “she didn’t want him anyway” and “it was her friend that said that.” What-ever. Regardless, I never heard a peep out of either one of them again.
I think that’s all Avril needs. A good ass whooping, or at least the imminent threat of one — really put the fear of God into her. And Avril, sweetie? If you’re out there… I still have my beat-up old Doc Martins sitting in the back of the closet, and you could really use some new teeth, anyway.
More photos of Avril at the Hot 100 Party after the jump, looking every bit the part of an asshole five years overdue for an ass kicking.
24 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
She’s keeping it reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaal? Real stupid, and brace yourselves for the idiot-crew that will surely hijack this thread to defend this pathetic fake-ass bitch. And what the hell is she doing at a Maxim party, didn’t she say once that she was NOT like the others?
May 21st, 2007
litelysalted
Hey Slim!
I love starting out Monday morning with a good Avril reaming. And bring on the idiot crew; I’ll cyber-kick them in the face.
May 21st, 2007
Dragulf
The raccoon got mad the horse sisters showed up? ROFL. Nice one.
May 21st, 2007
Osbourne Black
Plaid pants? Are those plaid pants? She is so retro. And what the hell is Steven Segal doing behind her in that second pic? Being her bodyguard?
May 21st, 2007
okay....
Um, fuck you Avril.
May 21st, 2007
eeks
She is SOOO UGLY.
May 21st, 2007
bionic bunny
mornin’ litely!
(yes, its still morning here, barely)
i still really don’t know who she is. and i don’t care. i love how these little pop tarts think they’re gangsters/ gangstas. isn’t she like 3 feet tall?
May 21st, 2007
litelysalted
Hi buns!
If you don’t know who Avril is, well I am just plain envious of you! I don’t know how tall she is; probably taller than me… But I’d still kick her teeth in. ‘Cause I’m awesome like that.
May 21st, 2007
overrated whores r bores
Avril is all mad and rebellious because her husband is actually a homosexual and she is getting any dick…
This girl is very immature and needs to get over herself, she is not remotely attractive and she has no talent.
stupid bitch
May 21st, 2007
aejr
sam and marcia… i remember… gina and i knocked them down during basketball in gym… what fun… yes avril is a poseur, the only ones who don’t know it are housewives and people who believe that TV is real. isn’t she due for a “new look” by now?
May 21st, 2007
Avril
Oh please! Avril is way better than Shrillary Duff! She shouldn’t even have to be in the same room as that low-level talentless hack.
Avril Rules!
May 21st, 2007
Kerin34
When Avril first came out with Skater Boy I thought, ‘not my cup of tea, but at least she’s not a skeevy whore’. But now, there’s her Boyfriend song. Is it just me, or did Avril become in this song the very thing she became famous for dumping on: PrettyFace. Never was a fan, but as a fellow Canadian she got a pass. No more - she deserves the trashing she gets.
May 22nd, 2007
Fabiola Thing
I saw one of her concerts on TV and I was like all WTF?!?!?!?!?! Someone gave this girl a recording contract? She sucks, BIG TIME!
May 22nd, 2007
Stephanie McGregor
I hate to break the news but this is how most of Canada behaves. SO, TO ANY CANADIAN OUT THERE, AMERICAN GIRLS KICK ASS! SO F-OFF ALL YOU CANUCK BIOTCHES.
May 23rd, 2007
jade
u r all just jelous and really sad … lol …
Jun 4th, 2007
Gina Nightmare
shes the best…..stfu
Jul 21st, 2007
Chuck Taylor
AVRIL LAVIGNE NOW HAS THE MOST NO. 1 TOP 40 HITS THIS DECADE, Source: BILLBOARD.COM
Avril Lavigne has ascended to a lofty pedestal: The 22-year-old now has the most No. 1 top 40 hits this decade at five and is the No. 2 artist in the 14-year history of Nielsen BDS, behind Mariah Carey’s six chart-toppers. —Chuck Taylor (Billboard.com)
It’s official - see weblink:
http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/content_display/reviews/singles/e3i6337374c02990aa382432d13494ab554
Aug 10th, 2007
chloe
i fucking hate those waist jacket things i swear they look like back support tops lmfao
ahh what a fucking poser
Aug 31st, 2007
h8 all
do any of u have lives or r you all gay. i agree like avril the rest can fuck off. ps 2 the person who said usa is good u can fuck yourself you fat twat
Oct 24th, 2007
ShezzlerVanity
GOD I DESPISE AVRIL LAVIGNE SHE NEEDS TO SLIT HERSELF IN A MILLION PIESCES AND LEFT DRAINED IN BLOOD ON THE GROUND TO DIE I HAAAAATE HER AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO LIKES HER! AVRILS A CUNTHEADED LITTLE PISSFACE. JOHNNY ROTTEN AND THE SEX PISTOLS CREW WILL KICK HER PASTY BIMBO ARSE. FUCK U ALL I HATE YOU AND AVRIL AND YOU SHOULD ALL GO JUMP OFF A CLIFFE THE HIGHER THE BETTA. THE WORLD DOESNT NEED MORE MOTHERFUCKING CLONES.
goodbye
xox
S.Vanity =]
Nov 5th, 2007
haha
haha you all are assholes but this is funny lol
i use to like avril but shes a fuckin bitch now dude she needs to get over her self shes not all that great specialy with all that makeup she uses .but after all we are nobody to judge her shes a human just like all of us we all have rights and wrongs
Nov 21st, 2007
Hmm. Whatever
lmao. You all suck
yeahh i am an Avril Fan. Umm, but you guys sheouldn’t be saying shit about her, since you aren’t her bestfriend….you guys know nothing about her at all. Hilary Duff is an anorexic retard….well thats what she appears to be. To the one who said Canadians suck, hahah funny. I happen to like be Canadian and almost everyone likes me. UN…fortunately i don’t like Americans that much. Well specifically the people who hate Canadians because of famous people. You are all a bunch of retards who think too much about the people that you hate….which is really a waste of time. You can hate Avril Lavigne, or you can love her. Either way, she’s still rocking, and is way more famous than this stupid website will ever be.
lots of love.
xx
Dec 7th, 2007
Miskare
I am a Canadian and I love Canada I would hate to live in America, and I love Avril Lavigne she is like everyone else, she needs to grow and that is what she has done; she wont stay the same all of her life. For all you people who bash her, don’t you have anything better to do with your time, like really? That just shows that you are ignorant and have your head in your ass.
Well that is all that I am saying other then this
CANADA FUCKING RULES AND KICK ALL COUNTRIES ASSES
I love Canada
Jan 10th, 2008
Robin
She has talent. She can sing, write songs, play instruments, act, dance and design her own fashion line.
Jun 8th, 2009
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