Ashton Sees Downside to Marrying Old Lady

In a batshit insane interview with Access Hollywood last night, Demi Moore revealed some baffling tidbits about her personal life with husband/poolboy Ashton Kutcher. Not the least of which divulging that she plans to conceive human male children with manchild Kutcher. But before I make any jokes about Demi’s cobwebbed uterus, or the fact that she already has a big giant adopted son with a penchant for polyester headgear, let’s move onto the really disturbing part of the interview:
Moore did not address rumors that she may herself be pregnant, but she did talk about her and husband Ashton Kutcher’s new addiction – to Mexican dominoes.
“[The dice] goes up to double 12’s instead of double six and it takes about three hours to play,” she said. “I’m not joking when I say we’re addicted – like two to three times a week.”
When O’Dell suggested, “Well, you’ve got to find time in between to have a little action in other ways,” Moore replied: “Maybe we should have some side bets just to, you know, encourage sexual favors!”
Mexican Dominoes. For hours on end. If I didn’t know better, I’d say somebody’s been punk’d!! Yep, it’s all fun and games, marrying the kind of hot washed up actress with the slightly hotter teenage daughters, until two years later you’re sitting home on a Saturday evening playing fucking dominoes. I bet when Ashton heard the part on TV about “sexual favors” he ran upstairs and hid under the bed.

11 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
I MARRIED THE OLD LADY FROM ST. ELMO’s FIRE AND NEED SYNTHETIC LUBRICANTS TO GET IT ON!
I’M ASHTON KUTCHER, I’m AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 22nd, 2007
Osbourne Black
Oh sure, Mexican dominoes puts the fun back into the romance.
May 22nd, 2007
Dragulf
It doesn’t take that long to play. Then again they are both retarded so …
May 22nd, 2007
d. c.
Really, her oldest, Rumer; is gonna be needing rehab soon. I hope she doesn’t have anymore children to toss them out in the world to raise themselves.
May 22nd, 2007
Glunp - Celebirty Gossip
She finally figured out how to keep Ashton under control. Just give the little retard dominoes and he’ll be happy for hours.
May 22nd, 2007
Ginger
I’ve always thought Demi had a man-face (and the masculine features have gotten more prominent as she’s aged).
May 22nd, 2007
bionic bunny
wait, HOW old is she?
just what we need. for either of them to breed again. aren’t there enough idiots in this world?

won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children????
May 22nd, 2007
beerdotcom182
Ginger, I was about to type the exact same thing. She is a he.
May 22nd, 2007
litelysalted
Uhhh… Gulp. Pardon me whilst I remove foot from mouth.
I don’t know how old she is, but I’m almost positive she’s younger than you buns!
May 22nd, 2007
bionic bunny
bite me, salty!
difference is, i’m not threatening to breed.
ashton under the bed. does anybody else think “boogey-man?”
May 22nd, 2007
bionic bunny
oh. was that oldism?
ageism?
BUNNISM????
better run it by ginger.
gawd, i love this place!
May 22nd, 2007
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