Paula Abdul Breaks Her Face
Paula Abdul suffered a broken nose over the weekend from uh, “Tripping over her pet chihuahua.” People Reports:
Paula Abdul, in an effort to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua Tulip, ended up tripping and breaking her nose Saturday, PEOPLE confirms with her rep David Brokaw.
“She went to the doctor and she did break her nose, but she’s moving on and doing great” Brokaw says. “She looks terrific. If you didn’t know she broke her nose, you’d never guess anything happened to her.”
I know, I know. This is obvious bullshit, right? Well luckily for you guys, I have a MA in Celebrity Spokesperson Translation, so I can tell you on good authority the incident went down more like this: After polishing off a handful of percocets and a bottle of chardonnay, Paula made her usual drunk dial to Emilio Estevez. But after that damn Emilio threatened to call the cops (he always does that!) she meandered out into the living room tearfully warbling “Forever Your Girl” and slurring “I used to be the pretty one!” when she happened to notice Tulip looking at her questioningly. Wobbling back and forth, she narrowed her eyes at the chihuahua and managed to spit out the words, “You always think you know…” before attempting to throw her wine glass at the dog. Fortunately she missed by a long shot, but the momentum threw her balance off just enough that she came crashing down onto the coffee table, where she woke up several hours later in a pool of vomit and blood.
And that’s what really happened. Tune into the Idol finale tonight to catch Paula with a big-ass bandage on her face, or what I like to refer to as a “Badge of Drunkenness.”
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
The only thing I regret is that when she fell there was no one around to point and laugh.
I would kick the dog Eddie!
May 22nd, 2007
Dragulf
That’s what she gets for having a chihuahua. Yappy little beasts.
May 22nd, 2007
litelysalted
Yeah, I was kind of stuck between “fortunately” or “unfortunately” that the glass missed the dog. Stupid chihuahuas.
May 22nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Alternate translation: our client went and had a nose job.
May 22nd, 2007
litelysalted
Y’know Slim… That was my first thought, too. But even Paula isn’t dumb enough to get a nosejob the weekend before Idol Finale week. But if I know celebritards, this just a perfect excuse to go buy herself a new one.
May 22nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
You think she’s not dumb enough?
She married Emilio Estevez….
think about that.
May 22nd, 2007
d. c.
Lame excuse. Her nose probably needed surgery for sniffing that powder and the bruises and falling?.. tippling the bottle too much.
May 22nd, 2007
bionic bunny
maybe it will be an improvement. plus think of all the good pain meds you can get now days?
see…
May 22nd, 2007
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