Lindsay Lohan Plans to Drink Herself to Death

With her impending birthday early next month, Lindsay Lohan plans to party like it’s 1999. And no, I don’t mean the carefree, fun and sexy Prince 1999; I’m talking about the one where we all stocked up on bottled water and canned goods, and feared imminent mayhem and death. The NY Daily News Reports:
Alcoholics Anonymous member Lindsay Lohan has lined up Svedka vodka to sponsor her 21st birthday blowout in Las Vegas, a rep for the brand confirmed to us yesterday.
Lindsay’s mother, Dina, has confirmed she is involved with AA. So, in view of the circumstances, is having a vodka maker sponsor the first birthday of legal drinking age a great idea? Her rep said, “I am unaware of who is sponsoring Lindsay’s birthday, as I am not the one planning it.”
But Lohan’s lawyer Mike Heller confirmed the vodka deal. “This should be one of the best parties ever,” he told Us Weekly.
Dear. Sweet. Jesus. So basically, what they’re saying is that all of this “unbridled restraint” Linds has shown us lately means nothing more than her not being of legal drinking age yet? My god, people! It was all just the calm before the storm! I think we may be entering back into the age of duct taping plastic wrap over our windows; for all we know STDs may go airborne after this fiasco.

10 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
With Paris Hilton going to jail and Lindsay Lohan dead, who’s left?
While contemplating that quandary, view Britney Spears (Braless with Pokies) in HQ at the Yeeeah Forums.
http://www.yeeeah.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1182
May 23rd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
They should just drive a big ol’ tanker truck filled with vodka and strap the hose to her gaping hole….NO! better yet drop her in the tank and seal the hatch.
And then blow it up.
May 23rd, 2007
litelysalted
That’s how I’m hoping to go, someday… Only swap “vodka” with “pinot grigio” and I’d die a happy woman.
May 23rd, 2007
Dragulf
I say we go with BS’s suggestion but use saltwater instead. Maybe some concrete boots up to her neck.
May 23rd, 2007
bionic bunny
excellent idea, dra! we could lure her in with olives and tell her its the “world’s largest martini”!
hell, we could even call guiness people, kill two birds with one stone!
May 23rd, 2007
bionic bunny
i meant that in the “world record” sense, not the stout.
May 23rd, 2007
Dat_DoOd
Fliimsay Blohan= L O S E R
May 23rd, 2007
katsy
hahaha…. oh lindsay lohan, you crazy girl…
May 24th, 2007
sarah ....
i love the new “suicidal” lindsay .. the old drama queen was pathetic . GO LINDSAY ! literally . drink ! drink ! drink !
Jun 3rd, 2007
Nicola
please don’t drink yourself to death i love you loads Lindsay. you r the best actress in the world please don’t kill yourself. I think if u tried really hard to make a really big difference in ur life ur life wud be much more fun1 plz don’t kill urself. I luv u loads. And if i had to vote 4 the best actress in all the world i wud definatly vote 4 u! i luv u Lindsay. xoxox
Jan 2nd, 2008
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