May 25, 2007
Lars Ulrich Spawns
Metallica Drummer/Accomplished Douchebag Lars Ulrich and his wife, Actress I’ve Never Heard Of Connie Nielsen gave birth to a baby boy earlier this week. People reports that the baby was born May 21 and the couple has named him Bryce Thadeus Ulrich-Nielsen.
This poor kid. He’s been alive for only five days and already he stands about a 98% chance of getting his ass handed to him on a daily basis by the time he’s eight. Let’s see… Dad is a Huge Pussy? Check. Faggy name? Check. The only way fate could have been worse to this kid is if he was born with his heart on the outside of his body.
17 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
It’s a testament to the greatness that WAS Metallica, that Lars has managed to not piss me off enough to banish them from my I-Pod. Of course I’m referring to everything up to “And Justice for All…” Metallica’s LAST album.
May 25th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Lars used to be cool, even god-like, until he started taking on Napster single-handedly thus making me buy my songs online.
Side Note: Either Lars’ wife is 6′ 10″ tall or he’s a short little shit.
May 25th, 2007
litelysalted
Hey guys, just wanted to thank all you regulars for sticking it out with me this week! Abby should be back Monday and then I believe I’m going to be doing Fridays from now on. Also next week I start writing for Pajiba so I guess I’ll be seeing some of you over there. Cheers!
May 25th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Who does Abby think she is taking Fidays off, Letterman, Leno and Regis?
I was going to put this in with my Quickies comment but since you started it, I would like to say LitelySalted did a superb job this week. I hope she guest hosts again real soon.
Let’s hear it, Hip Hip Hooray!! Hip Hip Hooray!!
May 25th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Taking Fridays off too.
May 25th, 2007
Ginger
Isn’t his wife the actress from Gladiator (the sister of Joaquin Phoenix’s character) and that movie where Robin Williams played a loser developing film at Walmart and started stalking the family?
May 25th, 2007
TK
I believe she was also in The Devil’s Advocate as the devil woman he almost sleeps with.
I actually think that Metallica only had three good albums - Master of Puppets, Kill ‘Em All, and Ride the Lightning. In that order.
Also, Lars, buddy… you’re indoors. Take off the fucking sunglasses, you pint-sized has-been.
May 25th, 2007
bionic bunny
wait, HE took HER name?
that’s kind of cool.
congrats on the new job, litely!!!!!
AND on a job well done!!
abby’s lucky to have you to fall back on, and we are lucky to have both of you.
great weekend to all!!!
hey, did you guys know that on memorial day you’re supposed to fly your flag at half mast until noon?
that’s a new one on me.
May 25th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Miss Bunny - With no disrespect intended, until you provide written proof on the flag flying memorial day thing, I am going to have to fly my flag at full mast.
May 25th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Great news Salty congrats on the Pajiba gig.
In fact, slapped backs and kudos all around, you all deserve it.
May 26th, 2007
bionic bunny
okay, let me see if this works (explanation: when i had the flagpole installed, i signed up for reminders of half-mast days )
On May 25, 2007, at 9:05 AM, Thomas D’Amico - American Flags Express wrote:
American Flag at Half Staff from Sunrise to 12 noon, Monday, May 28th, 2007
Memorial Day, May 28, 2007
Dear Fellow Americans,
This e-mail comes to you at your request to be notified when the American flag should be flown at half staff. This notice is being sent early. The actual proclamation from the President is not available yet. Traditionally, the proclamation requests:
The American flag should be flown at half staff from sunrise to 12 noon on Monday, May 28, 2007
For complete details Click Here.
Please forward this e-mail along to other people.
If this e-mail has been forwarded and you would like to sign up for future notifications please Click Here:
Respectfully submitted,
Thomas J. D’Amico - President
American Flags Express Inc. - America’s #1 Source for U.S. Flags & Flagpoles
http://www.AmericanFlagsExpress.com
If you would like to be removed from this notification list please send an e-mail to remove@FlagsExpress.com
May 26th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Miss Bunny, that explanation is good enough for me. I shall be flying my flag accordingly on this and every Memorial Day henceforth.
May 26th, 2007
bionic bunny
isn’t it funny? i was thinking half-mast maybe for the day.
i FINALLY got a spot-light for mine, so i can fly it all the time.
glad to have been of service!!!
May 27th, 2007
Snow White Whore
Ulrich-Nielsen? Very Arian!
May 29th, 2007
Tooby
Wait…wait…lemme get this straight…he took HER last name. I always thought Lars was a bit of a douche, but what a little b!tch. I guess we know who “catches” in THAT relationship.
Connie: “Bend over B!TCH!”
Lars: “…yes, honeybunny….”
LOL
May 29th, 2007
evzznzfulr
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Jun 21st, 2007
Ian
Thought u were more of a man. Guess I was wrong! U’r kid u’r name! b a man! let us know when u grow some balls! Play some music while u r @ it!
Jul 30th, 2008
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