Britney Spears Updates Her Website
Britney Spears is done wishing you “Godspeed” and now wants you to know just how not-her-fault rehab was. She writes the following on her personal site (expertly translated below for the layperson):
Dear Fans,
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. Till this day I don’t think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person… it is me.
Translation: I gave my mom the finger and going to rehab was my manager’s fault.
I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a “bitch.”
Translation: I’m a stupid bitch.
I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change… so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me.
Translation: Not wearing panties and puking in public = using my brain for a change. (See “I’m a stupid bitch” for further assistance.)
I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people…
Translation: I get a lot of stains on my clothes. Eating is hard!
There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That’s God’s job. I can’t wait to meet him…or her.
Love, Britney
Translation: I’m ready to meet my maker. Somebody please fucking kill me already! Shotgun, pick-ax, tire iron, whatever!
6 Comments, Comment or Ping
Dragulf
So, has she admitted that’s her sisters picture yet? ^^
May 30th, 2007
Osbourne Black
When was it, a year ago she was saying basically the same thing to Matt Lauer.
Just leave Britney. Just leave the limelight and open a little boutique somewhere in Bumfuck, Louisiana. The hillbillies of Louisiana will embrace you with open arms.
May 30th, 2007
abby
No kidding. I bet underneath all the layering and blending and cloning there’s really a 200 pound black man instead of Britney. Those photoshop guys are regular wizards!
May 30th, 2007
guapeton
Looks like a great porn site…
May 30th, 2007
katsy
beautiful translating skills.
May 30th, 2007
d. c.
God is a Father.. figure that out Britney! um.. “Our Father whom art in HEAVEN?”
Jun 2nd, 2007
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