Eva Longoria’s Vogue Shoot
I always knew there was something “off” about Eva Longoria, but until now I could never put my finger on it. She’s got that perfect svelte “no breasts or hips” look down, yet doesn’t look malnourished or emaciated whatsoever. But seeing these photos finally made it click — Eva Longoria is really a 10 year old boy! In fact, I’m pretty sure she is actually that kid from the Air Bud movies.
You can starve a lady down to get rid of those “womanly parts,” but God forbid the viewing public sees a little sternum. The only way to get around that is to find a small boy; and slap a wig, false eyelashes and heels on him. And, presto! You’ve got the perfect woman.
More photographic evidence after the jump. But don’t even think about getting off on them, people, or I will call up Chris Hansen so fast your head will spin.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
abby
Mmmm…. bop!
Jun 1st, 2007
Osbourne Black
Jeffery Dahmer liked boys. In more ways than one.
Jun 1st, 2007
dannygutters
she can write you a check for $12 on your birthday
Jun 1st, 2007
slug
omfg those are some of the most BORING pictures i’ve even seen! I can’t believe they’re for vogue. and wtf is with the third picture? she looks like joan collins.
Jun 1st, 2007
litelysalted
Yeah, that fuggo mullet-hair she’s rocking sure isn’t helping.
Jun 1st, 2007
Syd
She’s never done it for me. These pictures do nothing to change that.
Jun 1st, 2007
dookie
she has no boobs, how is that possible?
http://www.eva-longoria.net/gallery/data/711/eva-longoria_dot_net-maxim2005jan-bynerble07.jpg
Jun 1st, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Vogue: Chola Edition
Jun 1st, 2007
Showgrrrl
Um, you’d think fucking VOGUE could supply her with some shoes that actually fit her. She may have midget feet like me, but even I am able to locate tiny shoes. She looks like she’s wearing her mom’s shoes. yar.
Jun 1st, 2007
Burt
She’s a great looker and had it not been for “Designing Women,” she’d have been on soaps and we folks with lives, would have never known her!!
Jun 2nd, 2007
Samuella
Is it just me, or in these pics does she look, unfortunately, like Paula Abdul?
I’ve always liked Eva, but these pictures do her no justice. I never thought I’d see the day they photoshop someone’s breasts smaller..
Jun 3rd, 2007
Francine
I remember my pictures for my batmitzvah, too! Shalom!
Jun 4th, 2007
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