Kelly Clarkson Does Good Morning America
American Idol Kelly Clarkson performed on yesterday’s “Good Morning America” for a smattering of fanny-packed tourists who were only there to wave to the cameras for their relatives back in Muncie and a couple of hot dog vendors that ran out of wieners and had nothing better to do. Several news venues called it a “disappointing and lackluster performance,” and Kelly looked — well, she seemed a little… boy, that’s some personality Kelly’s got on her, huh? I think that’s about all the personality you can pack into a pair of low-rise pants. Good thing they reinforced the zipper with half a dozen grommets and titanium eagle overlay. Kelly’s interview in next month’s issue of CosmoGirl offers this insight:
“For six months [in high school, I] was bulimic. One of my guy friends caught on to it, and I just felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I literally went cold turkey and snapped out of it.”
Well, unfortunately for her, it didn’t take. Not by a long shot. I think the real problem here was that her shame was misdirected. She should have tried being embarrassed by her big fat ass instead being ashamed of binging and purging. Nothing wrong with a little self-doubt, folks. It’s par for the course if you have a vagina. I haven’t spent a lifetime sucking in and crying in front of a mirror and sleeping with losers for nothing, you know. Three cheers for Jose Cuervo and laxatives! And don’t let’s forget the morning-after pill. Some gifts just keep on givin’!
More of the sausage in her casing after the jump
42 Comments, Comment or Ping
debisjb
…but not before the buffet!
Jun 27th, 2007
Dragulf
Sexy muffin top!
Jun 27th, 2007
abby
Even her Chuck Taylors look fat.
Jun 27th, 2007
Dragulf
I’d put some frosting on her and have desert!
Jun 27th, 2007
dannygutters
I’m Carol!
Jun 27th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Looks like she also did a jumbo stack of pancakes, a cow, two pigs, a vat of syrup..
Jun 27th, 2007
RichPort
“Even her Chuck Taylors look fat.”
I scared the interns here when I laughed at that one…
Dear Ms Clarkson,
You are beyond spandex. Please stick to shopping at Lane Bryant. Or fire your stylist. Many thanks.
xoxoxoxoxox
RichPort
Jun 27th, 2007
loveskelly
shut up all of you. kelly did an amazing job at the concert yesterday morning and your coverage of the event is clearly inaccurate. there were a ton of people there to support her and her new CD, me being one of them. she looked beautiful and is proud of who she is and what she’s doing with her life.
Jun 27th, 2007
Sorceressss
Greasy hair-check
Skimpy top showing all her fat-check
WAY too tight and too low pants-check
Lets get singing, then it’s off to Wal-Mart.
Jun 27th, 2007
RichPort
Dear loveskelly,
I think Kelly Clarkson is an amazing singer who has already released some classic material. She should be successful for years to come, as long as she doesn’t have to rely on concert sales to make up the bulk of her income, as most artists do. That said, she needs to stop dressing like she fits in those clothes and start dressing more like a librarian. Hey, should could even take some of that money she makes from ProActiv and hire a personal trainer.
Sincerely,
RichPort (aka I hate fat chicks in skinny girl’s clothes)
Jun 27th, 2007
sherocks
I agree, she looks great and can outsing pretty much anyone. She is amazing.
Jun 27th, 2007
beerdotcom182
She looks great?? Granted she is a step above Britney and Ashlee Simpson because she actually sings live but she looks like she is made of dough.
Jun 27th, 2007
Tine
I love Kelly Clarkson - but you can’t deny she looks like shit. She needs a stylist. She could get away with the shirt if she was wearing those horrendous jeans and douche sneakers.
Jun 27th, 2007
Tine
sorry..”if she WASN’T”
Jun 27th, 2007
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
I agree with RichPort - heavy people should not dress in faddish clothes as if they are thin - she needs to learn that clothing with more classic lines & fit look better. She needs a visit with Stacey & Clinton of “What Not to Wear” !!!
Jun 27th, 2007
RichPort
She looks like Valerie Bertinelli here.
Jun 27th, 2007
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
By the way, what are “Chuck Taylors” ?
Jun 27th, 2007
Manny
Ok, she ain’t a size 2, but she’s got talent and at least hasn’t had to check in and out of rehab (yes, I can hear the In n out jokes coming a mile away). Cut her some slack for not looking like a heroine addict.
Jun 27th, 2007
Syd
You have a point, Manny. I don’t give a shit that she’s plump. But, Jesus Christ, she could dress a little better.
Jun 27th, 2007
Brian
Well her butt looks nice haha
Jun 27th, 2007
abby
Chuck Taylors are the Converse sneakers she’s wearing. They were big in the eighties.
Jun 27th, 2007
RichPort
Abby, I bet Kelly Clarkson was big in the 80’s too.
ZING!
Jun 27th, 2007
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
Right, it’s not that she’s not a size 2 - it’s that she’s dressing like she is!! The embellishments on the pants actually accentuate her size…I just don’t get it, sorry!
Jun 27th, 2007
spatz
listen, fat or skinny, strapping an eagle to your vaginal region isnt a good idea.
Jun 27th, 2007
Vermillion
Hey, I like Kelly. She has a nice voice, she is quite talented, and yes, I would stick it in her with the fury of at least one conquering sun. Being a DSGB, I love the junk in the trunk.
That said, she really has to stop wearing these kinds of clothes! Nobody looks good with rolls hanging over the edges! Plus, she cannot be comfortable in that. I am quite the hirsute fellow myself, and I know I practically suffocate if I put on a shirt too small. She just needs to wear clothes that fit her.
Jun 27th, 2007
chao
Vermillion:
Do you realize hirsute means “hairy” and has nothing to do with weight?
Jun 28th, 2007
Vermillion
chao:
Crap in a hat. How could I not realize that? Now I sound like an idiot.
Change ‘hirsute’ to ‘rotund’ and forget that ever happened.
Jun 28th, 2007
MAsalaman
“Even her Chuck Taylors look fat.”
Hilarious. LMAO
Po’ Kelly, I Still love though
Jun 28th, 2007
Lisa
I think she has an amzing voice. She’s a singer, not a fashion model. Get over yourselves, haters.
Jun 28th, 2007
Izzy
It really doesn’t matter on her size.She’s an amazing singer.If you where a true fan like some of us you would shut up and not worry about size.Besides It’s better than being a small little twig!
Jun 28th, 2007
yoe mango
Is it just me or does she look a lil chucky?
just a lil bit
Jun 28th, 2007
laurenh
i dont think it matters if Kelly has put weight on, if she wants to lose it then she will and just for the record i dont think her chuck taylors look fat.
Jul 9th, 2007
Amanda
She looks delicious, much better than the bony actresses and models that seem to be the standard any more
Jul 20th, 2007
Charles
Mee-yow!
Jul 20th, 2007
U R FKD DD
I’D PORK THAT PIGGY, & LET HER HAVE MY ITALIAN SAUSAGE FOR BREAKFAST.
Jul 21st, 2007
pissedoff1981
ok. since when do we make fun of male singers for gaining a few? she is a singer, dumbasses! not a model. grow up. and its not like she has fat hanging out everywhere. her form is still good. she just looks a bit plump but she isnt obese or gross or flabby. so get he hell over yourselves. she’s probably stressed out and she’s also getting into the age where a girls weight can fluxuate dramatically. it doesnt help when self-righteous assholes like you critizize and act rude. And she should wear whatever the hell she wants to! why cant she show off her healthy body? because some dumb media brainwashed all of you at an early age? did you know that the average woman weights 160? natural women usually as thin as the models that have been force fed into your brains. it isnt healthy. this girl is probably ten times healthier than paris hilton and she can probably beat her ass.
Aug 7th, 2007
breezie
i would love to get all up in them guts
Sep 6th, 2007
markofando
Want to start your private office arms race right now?
I just got my own USB rocket launcher
Awsome thing.
Plug into your computer and you got a remote controlled office missile launcher with 360 degrees horizontal and 45 degree vertival rotation with a range of more than 6 meters - which gives you a coverage of 113 square meters round your workplace.
You can get the gadget here: http://tinyurl.com/2qul3c
Check out the video they have on the page.
Cheers
Marko Fando
Oct 2nd, 2007
Mr.O
She has put so many pounds it shows everywere her butt belly tsk tsk. Yet I love the new her she’s still hot but fat, If I were her I keep packing it on, BLOW THE BELLY KELLY!
Oct 2nd, 2007
jemsBeepsysox
I’ve got an Amazon gift certificate burning holes in my pocket,
and I want to get the most bang for my buck.
Enter the Secret Amazon Web Pages:
http://tinyurl.com/38sojf
This is where you’re going to find the “latest sales, rebates, and limited-time offers” from
Amazon, and you can score some pretty deep discounts if you’re a savvy shopper.
Next, there’s the special Sale link. This is open every Friday, and ONLY on Fridays.
You can find the same good discounts here as you would in hidden Deals, although some
Fridays you can really get lucky and make off like an Amazon bandit - I’ve seen discounts
there as low as 75% off sticker price.
Oct 4th, 2007
YYZ
She looks hot now. she should stay like she is. or pack on more fat.
Dec 27th, 2007
Wardens
OMG get off her ass. She’s hot! Excuse her if she’s not a freaking stick. stfu gtfo!
Muffin tops are sexy as hell!
Nov 4th, 2008
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