Lindsay Lohan Was Drunk and High

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The toxicology reports are in, and it seems that actress Lindsay Lohan was both drunk and high on cocaine when she wrecked her car in Los Angeles Memorial Day weekend. TMZ reports

According to multiple law enforcement sources, toxicology reports conclude that Lohan, 20, had “nearly twice the legal limit” of alcohol and traces of blow in her bloodstream when she crashed her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible into a curb on Sunset Blvd. around 5:30 AM on May 26.

Smelling salts! Smelling salts! Not our Lindsay! Not high! I feel the vapors coming on! I’ll just keep my eyes closed and frantically fan my hands beneath my chin and maybe make a few whimpering noises through my nose. In other startling revelations, the sun rises in the east and pro-wrestlers take steroids. And America is the greatest nation the world has ever known. U-S-A! U-S-A!

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7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Toxicology reports are all liars!

  2. Think “Aunt Pittypat.”

  3. abby–hee-hee!
    nobody does the vapors like aunt pittypat!

  4. “For Lindsay Lohan to appear drunk and high - everytime I think of it, I feel faint.” — Aunt Pitty

  5. I think you forgot to end the headline with “again”.

  6. When is LoHo NOT drunk and high?

  7. i think her parents got to do something.

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