Britney Spears, fresh on the heels of alienating just about everybody in her life, turned her legal dogs on her own mother last week. People magazine reports

On Thursday, Spears was snapped by paparazzi handing her mother a request from an out-of-state lawyer… asking that Lynne stay away from Spears’s sons Sean Preston, 1, and Jayden James, 9 months, if she is taking any medications that might cause her to be impaired. “I’m praying for her right now,” [Britney] said. “[I hope] she gets all the help she needs,”

Lynn Spears, who was picking up groceries at a local store on Sunday, said that “hopefully” daughter Britney will make it to a family cookout for the Fourth of July holiday. “Everything is going to be fine,” Lynn Spears [said] while shopping. “I’ve got a strong family, and everything is going to be fine.”

I’m pretty sure having Britney Spears “pray for you” actually hurts your case rather than helps it. I’ve always pictured prayer requests like a busy telephone switchboard, Jesus at the helm in a head mike punching buttons and repeating, “Thank you for calling the Holy Trinity. We appreciate your time. Your prayer will be answered in the order it was received.” Jesus probably saw that one particular set of blinking lights on the board and had to go and tell God, “Look, man, I hate to bother you, but Chubsy is at it again. Something about her poor mother and not being a fatass anymore. Oh, and something about a yeast infection, I think. I don’t know. I wasn’t really listening.” That’s when God would shake his head and mouth “Tell her I’m not here!” “No, wait, tell her I’m dead!” and then “Fine. Hit her up with another bout of cystic acne and tell her and her stupid prayers to fuck off.” Then Jesus probably gave him a high five and went back to sliding down rainbows with Mother Teresa and Bob Hope and a herd of koala-unicorn hybrids. Heaven is going to be pretty awesome!

More of Britney at Les Deux and chihuahua shopping after the jump

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