Jessica Alba Doesn’t Want You Stinking up the Bathroom
For all of you who keep telling me how “real” and “down-to-earth” Jessica Alba is, allow me to present this little Page Six tidbit:
At the opening of Harry Morton’s Pink Taco restaurant in Los Angeles Thursday night, Jessica Alba closed off the ladies’ room so she could use the facilities in privacy, Web site Eater LA reports. “Some guy comes out and tells the long line that the ‘bathroom will close for 10 minutes,’ ” the site says. “All for Jessica Alba, who apparently can’t pee with the plebes.”
I don’t care who you are — if you want to do a bunch of blow in the bathroom, you need to be able to get it out, break it up, and suck it down within a poop-believable time frame like the rest of us. It’s just common courtesy. And if the problem was that you were having explosive bowel issues that required privacy, well, then, I’d say you have no business at a restaurant with the word “taco” in the name, even if the “taco” is just a crass and unimaginative euphemism for vagina. You might as well hit up “Dysentery Dave’s Oyster Bar” or “The Liquid Colon” for lunch and top of your evening with a couple of tabasco enemas.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Her reps will come back and say she’s been misquoted, or that it never happened, or that Xenu is coming or some shit like that. Isn’t her 15 minuted up yet? I mean we HAVE to be at 14:57 or some shit like that by now… until TMZ shows video of her getting eaten out by Scarlett Hohanssen, she interests me less than colon cancer.
Heh heh… I said “come back”… heh heh…
Jul 2nd, 2007
abby
Maybe she needs quiet to purge.
Jul 2nd, 2007
RichPort
I can’t wait until she becomes Invisible Girl in real life… or starts doing meth and porn.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Dat_DoOd
She is such a lame. ugh
Jul 2nd, 2007
Vermillion
Considering the kind of people who would want to go to a place called “Pink Taco”, it is amazing that ANYONE would step foot in that bathroom without a bandoleer of Lysol and a priest throwing Hail Marys.
As far as Alba, oy. I hate it when women I find physically arousing have to be total asses, and not in a good way. Although, I m starting to see that she probably was a dork when she was younger, and now she is a hottie version of noveau riche.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Hugh Jorgan
I like to have a little privacy when I take a dump too.
Jul 2nd, 2007
LOL
I would swim thru a mile of her pee just to see where it came from….
Jul 2nd, 2007
ROFLOL
Hey LOL, I’ll do you one better: I’d crawl naked through broken glass and barbed wire just to listen to her fart over an AM Radio.
As far as I’m concerned, Jessica can take a dump in my shoes if she likes, but the story is BS.
Jul 2nd, 2007
d. c.
sniff sniff, vomit, pop some pills, do her hair, forget to flush and wash her hands kinda girl.
Jul 2nd, 2007
em
“Poop-believable time frame”? Laughing my fucking ass off.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Herman B
jessica, what the hell came out of your ass that night?
Jul 3rd, 2007
bionic bunny
if she was really smart, she would have used the men’s room. and i shudder to imagine what would have happened when she was done…..
Jul 3rd, 2007
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