Eva Longoria is Off the Market

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker wed in a civil ceremony in Paris today. Yawn.
People reports on the festivities:
The basketball star, 25, and the actress, 32, became man and wife at a civil ceremony – as required by French law – at the Mairie (city hall for the 4th Arrondissement) in Place Baudoyer, not far from Notre Dame.
With the civil service complete, the newlyweds will cement their union with a ceremony at the Church of Saint Germain l’Auxerriois on Saturday.
God. This is like, the most boring episode of “Desperate Housewives” ever. They could have at least had her comically cheat on him right before the wedding, and then Susan does something dipshitty and everyone finds out, only to have Bree and Lynette get into a fight over something trivial right in the middle of the ceremony! Eventually everyone makes up, but before they can tie the knot — one of Lynette’s 11 children finds a dead body which is mysteriously linked to one of their new neighbors who also just happened to show up to the wedding. DUN!
That’s what should have happened anyway. But no, we just get the same boring old crap, like always — because life isn’t fair.
As a conciliation prize, here are some lovely photos of Eva Longoria, Eva Longoria’s ass, and Eva Longoria’s ass’s birthmark in a bikini, after the jump.






8 Comments, Comment or Ping
beerdotcom182
Hmmmm, an NBA point guard and a midget who is obviously completely full of herself. Great couple.
Jul 6th, 2007
Dragulf
I didn’t know 12 year olds could get married.
Jul 6th, 2007
Tony
She has a mustache and is a dirty mexican. He is a french nig. Nice.
Jul 7th, 2007
margaretta
OMG could she eke out any more publicity out of this?
2 mil from OK!
I guess a lot of people give a flying fig over this no talent fugly woman who has the body of a 10 yr old?
I wonder how much publicity the divorce will get?
Jul 7th, 2007
DiamondSal
Star Jones and Big Al Horrible Swag Marriage endlessly publicized all over again.. Old 32 boring TV star hag spectacularly marries stupid 25 year old basketball player with [whatever] snooze elite guests wanted a free vacation, it cost nothing, the odd and dull couple made a profit.. woo woo! NOT gonna last as long..oria as her other marriage because he has a temper and likes his private space!
Jul 7th, 2007
bionic bunny
is her bikini made of aluminum foil??
Jul 9th, 2007
!Xbile Bob
Tony raps about his big mistake:
http://www.iklipz.com/MovieDetail.aspx?MovieID=41ed3e8f-1e3f-464a-a9dd-638b0322efd2
Jul 19th, 2007
lolilita
what are you talking about? Look at that round ass!!
Aug 14th, 2007
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