J. Lo and Marc Anthony Plan a Joint Tour
How does that saying go? Something about “history” and “dooming to repeat itself?” Ah well, it’ll probably come to me eventually. Us Weekly is reporting this morning that Jennifer Lopez and her rat-faced husband Marc Anthony are planning a national tour together, following the release of their film El Cantante, which I believe is Spanish for “pure shit.”
Now, now. I know what you’re thinking, that this has got to be the worst fucking idea in the history of mankind. But I’ve actually done some research, and this doesn’t even break the Top 10. Now, without further ado:
The Top 10 Worst Ideas in the History of Mankind
10. Fisher Price’s “My First Colonics Kit”
9. Paula Abdul’s new reality show
8. “Horehound” flavored edible panties
7. Dustin Diamond’s sex tape
6. LZ 129 Hindenburg
5. McDonald’s short lived “McLobster” sandwich
4. Our government’s former special-ops covert “Armed Monkey Brigade”
3. The maiden voyage of the the largest passenger steamship in the world
2. That crisp evening in the Autumn of ‘45 when George Sr. decided to play a little game of “Hide the Sausage” with Barbara
Annnd, the #1 Worst Idea in the History of Mankind is…
1. Gigli!
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
litelysalted
Ahhh, it’s pretty bad if I’m stealing jokes from myself. What up, guys?
Jul 6th, 2007
margaretta
You’d need more than a joint to see skeletor and lard butt on tour…ewwww
Jul 6th, 2007
Dragulf
You forgot “Sexy Thoughts” a perfume by Paula Abdul.
Jul 6th, 2007
Ginger
Wow, a national tour? I wonder what nation they’re talking about, cuz it damn sure ain’t the U.S. They couldn’t pay a whole stadium of people to listen to J.Lo “sing”.
P.S. Something looks nipped/tucked/plumped in that face.
Jul 6th, 2007
abby
Out-fucking-standing, Stacey! LOL
Jul 6th, 2007
litelysalted
Yay! Thanks!
Jul 6th, 2007
DiamondSal
Jennifer has a lot of Latino/Spanish and other fans world wide and with Mark is very a popular figure in Japan, South America, Spain, France, England, Puerto Rica. This movie is about a well loved person PR’s favorite son, El Cantante de Los Cantantes, folk hero Héctor Lavoe; of which this movie is biographically based and so on.. The famous couple sells a lot of their products and music to these countries and appreciate their fans very much there too. I imagine this movie is one many who love Spanish culture and its wonderful music are looking forward to.. Here is a review for those of you seriously contemplating what all the fuss is about.
http://www.latinoreview.com/scriptreview.php?id=16
Jul 6th, 2007
Ginger
Hey I got nothing against Marc. Sure he may be extremely fug, but he’s got singing talent, which is all I ask for in any singer.
However, I DON’T know how he can be with her. She’s the exact opposite; all image and not a shred of talent. You’d think a real artist would be disgusted by that.
Jul 6th, 2007
RichPort
Yea Marc Anthony weighs about 75 lbs soaking wet… with brick in his pockets… and 20lb weights in each hand, but he is far and away a better singer/ performer than just about any dude out there. And I would pound JLo’a ass like it owed me money.
Jul 9th, 2007
S. Thom
Short lived McLobster Sandwich? It’s alive and well in Boston!
Jul 9th, 2007
ywnuuschsx
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Aug 1st, 2007
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