Madonna demanded that reporters maintain unrelenting eye contact with her during backstage interviews at the Live Earth concert in London. MSNBC reports

The Material Girl startled organizers of [Live Earth] by reportedly insisting that anyone who interviewed her backstage at Wembley Stadium was not allowed to look away. “Eye contact must be maintained at all times,” interviewers were told. “Never look down to check notes — all questions must be memorized or the interview will be terminated.”

“We thought her people were just joking,” a source told the paper. “But it soon became apparent that they were deadly serious.”

It’s hard to take somebody seriously when they’re spouting demands in a horribly butchered British accent. Even harder if they’re wearing jeweled eyebrows and a sacred kittel, but damn near impossible if they’re in a gimp mask and a full body vinyl suit wielding a riding crop and a mirror. You try it sometime. I find the only way to maintain eye contact with an egotistic blowhard is to stare not directly into their eyes, but slightly above the iris, near their eyebrows. Maintain a thoughtful but concerned expression for a few minutes, then furrow your brow and look baffled. Then slowly widen your eyes and look vaguely repulsed. Blink a couple of times and maybre stroke your chin. If they haven’t already lost track of what they were saying, then pass your hand along your mouth as though you’re stifling a smirk and exhale loudly. You get five points for every time they they trail off and forget what they were saying, and three points for every “uh..” and “um..” or “what the hell is your fucking problem, man?” My record high is 57 points!

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