Britney Spears is a Great Mom, Take 284
Britney Spears spent last Friday lugging her little bastards around Marina del Rey and screaming obscenities at an overweight female photographer. In a video taken by Splash News Online, Britney rolls down her car window and yells:
“Hey, baby, when are you going to go on a diet? Have you ever tried Weight Watchers, you fat fuck!? Why don’t you run?! You need to fucking jog, you pussy. Yeah, run — run, bitch!“
Naturally, you hear the kids bellerin’ from the back seat with every opening of the window. The whole display smacks of a front porch in West Virginia, with a shirtless man in overalls holding a pitchfork next to a cabbage-faced woman in a kerchief with a three-year old and an infant on either tit. “We don’t cotton to yer type ‘roun herr. I aims to stab ya with dis’en herr pitchferk. Ya’d better run — run, bitch! Ya ever herd tells of them Weight Wacchers? I done kilt Doyle Hargrave with a lawn mower blade! Mmm-hmm.”
More hot unshorn Britney and brood action after the jump
19 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Aww, brings back memories of my mom. It’s that same strength of will and character that have allowed her to survive at Tallahassee Women’s Correctional through all these long years.
*wipes tears*
Jul 23rd, 2007
abby
UPDATE: Here’ns the vidya.
Jul 23rd, 2007
margaretta
Must be that there what them in the boonies call ‘cheeto rage’
Jul 23rd, 2007
RichPort
Oodly, I respect her more now than ever and am considering dedicating the christianing of this box of kleenex and this brand new tub of Lubriderm to her.
What can I say? I’m easy…
Jul 23rd, 2007
ali
haha cheeto rage!
Jul 23rd, 2007
Penis Mightier
Whats with the super close-up of her armpit?
Jul 23rd, 2007
open mouth jones
There’s just nuthin better than an unshorn armpit first thing on a monday is there?
And if that armpit is britneys, well then, all is right in the world!
Jul 23rd, 2007
Dragulf
Nude Hot Demi pics then this lumpy sack of potatoes. Abby is trying to get me locked up in a padded cell.
Jul 23rd, 2007
Dragulf
Yesterday reportedly when she was filming her new video, a photo shoot was also scheduled for the magazine’s upcoming cover story.
As you would expect, Britney supposedly showed up three hours late. When she arrived, she was allegedly out of her f*cking tree and even though everyone knew of her notorious eccentricities (which is putting it kindly) everyone was also shocked to see her so wasted, exhibiting behaviour outrageous even for her. Allegedly of course.
For instance…she had her dog with her – the new puppy she called London. Since London is a puppy and since she has yet to provide him with a proper, regular routine, of course London pissed and shat all over the place. And who picked up the poop? Britney picked up the poop…allegedly mopping it up with a Chanel dress. A Chanel dress. Allegedly of course.
I’m told she apparently kept choosing clothes that were 2 sizes too small so that rolls were squeezing out everywhere, giving the stylist a minor panic attack as it’s her professional portfolio and her job on the line if the images comes out bunk – a likely certainty even with the help of photoshop.
Britney allegedly wanders around babbling like a baby – as in baby talk. Half the time her head can’t stay straight, lolling around on her neck like a bobble. I’m told she also has no boundaries and allegedly, several times, when she had to pee, even though one of the washrooms was being used as a staging area, she would drop trou and make a tinkle WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR and an entire crew working around her. Allegedly of course.
The girl allegedly can’t stop touching herself. As in fondling her breasts, rubbing between her legs… I can hardly bear to write this. She apparently goes about it absent-mindedly, as if not aware she’s not alone and at the same time, genuinely curious about her own body, described to me as “like a 5 year old discovering her genitalia for the first time”. Allegedly of course.
So they had one sitting, they were able to get shot. But then paranoia apparently took over, Britney became convinced people were ridiculing her (they probably were), and took off abruptly without explanation. Word is the magazine is scrambling now as it’s supposed to be a cover story, they need more than one image – trying to make it happen for today. She later allegedly explained that she was uncomfortable because she had no idea so many people would be there and it would be such a “big production”. She also thought she looked too “fat”. Allegedly of course.
Jul 23rd, 2007
Penis Mightier
Yup, that sounds about right.
Jul 23rd, 2007
Jbo
Her youngest baby looks a little slow in the face… ALSO, this bitch doesn’t put life jackets on her boos when out in the open water. Bad, bad Britney – it’s the law! Is she trying to have her babies taken away b/c she doesn’t want them and it’s easier that way?
Jul 23rd, 2007
LRM216
Please – before she becomes a statistic in the obituary columns, leave her alone! Isn’t her life hard enough?? And by the way, stooping a little low aren’t you by calling two innocent children (each born of her marriage to Federline) bastards?
Jul 23rd, 2007
Ace
I have to take offense with your portrayal of West Virginia. Not all of us have porches. We shoot off comers from the roof. I personally built a treehouse.
Oh yeah, this bitch is crazy.
Jul 23rd, 2007
bionic bunny
ah, yes, lovely Marina Del Hosehead.
now you understand why REAL people don’t go there.
Jul 23rd, 2007
Shauna
She mentioned a few years back, that the paparazzi USED to treat her with respect. Well, the Britney Spears of the past, and the one currently flashing her vag, and shaving her head, are two very different people. It is obvious that she just does’nt get it. The ‘child-like’ description seems to hit it on the head. She is as cluess as a five year old on how to to behave. (btw-thanks for the interesing post Dragulf) The fact that she is making all of her own decisions is disasterous. She of all people, needs a constant minder, and manager. How low will she go? I am afraid we haven’t seen it yet.
Jul 23rd, 2007
bigredwthebighead
Who is she to call somebody fat? Nasty, fat, white trash. Go back to your trailer park. Yuck!
Jul 24th, 2007
piedlourde
Dear fucking God, I just can’t say anything bitchy here. Those doomed kids are absolutely adorable and I feel sick that Britney is allowed anywhere near them. I’m surprised she didn’t dangle them over the stern of the boat. “Look, boys, look at the big propeller thingies! — Ooops, uhm, bodyguards? Hello?”. Baby gumbo!
Jul 24th, 2007
Deeds
I wonder what role she was preparing for this time?
Jul 24th, 2007
bite me bitch
i think i threw up a little bit in my mouth
Jul 25th, 2007
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