As if HIV and hepatitis weren’t enough to worry about after breaking up with Pete Doherty, supermodel Kate Moss now has two MIA sex tapes to contend with. London’s The Sun reports

“There are still some bits and pieces floating about of Pete with Kate. She has got rid of most of it. Six out of eight tapes have been destroyed. But she wanted to bury the lot before he could humiliate her by selling them or putting them on the internet. Pete could do [whatever] he wants with them. And we all know what Pete can do when he’s desperate for a bob or two.”

There’s nothing I’d rather see than a doughy, pasty, mossy-toothed heroin addict rutting all over a used-up coke whore, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for it. I’ll save my pennies and camp out in a Jersey park with my camcorder, wait for the sun to go down and the smörgåsbord of society’s derilects and failures to come crawling out of the storm drains and women’s shelters. I might even offer a couple of homeless dudes an Andrew Jackson or two to whale on each other with tire irons while I videotape it. Now there’s a cool twenty bucks I don’t mind spending. Believe me, pipe in a little “Eye of the Tiger” and slow down the frame rate right before impact and that sort of thing just pays for itself!

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