Lindsay Lohan took time out of her strict regiment of “wearing bikinis” and “trying to score Ecstasy” to cavort with this cheese dick last Friday. Deuce Bigalow, male… um, loser fuckface. The only way this jerk-off could appear any more douche-y is if he had plastic tubing for arms and reeked of vaginally-expelled vinegar. Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying he doesn’t already stink of vinegar. Or of vagina, for that matter. He very well may. The picture doesn’t tell us. However, personal experience has taught me that most men with moustaches have a certain “je ne sais quoi” about them. “Je nais se quoi” of course being French for “I’m a smarmy asshole prick.” Just ask a highway patrolman! They’ll let you know what’s what, fuckers.

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