Usher Doesn’t Get Married
In news I’m sure you don’t give a shit about, R & B singer Usher and his pregnant fiancee didn’t make it down the aisle this weekend. According to People magazine,
On Saturday, only hours before the [wedding] was to take place in Southampton, N.Y., Usher’s publicist issued the following statement: “It was announced today that the wedding ceremony for Usher Raymond IV and Tameka Foster was canceled. No additional information will be given regarding the circumstances of the cancellation, but we hope the privacy of this matter will be respected.”
What could have caused such an unexpected change of heart?
“Usher’s mother [and former manager, Jonetta Patton, whom he fired in May] is against the wedding. That is one of the main obstacles,” [said a] source. But another source [said]: “Usher changed his mind. [He and Foster] had a lot of differences about the details — the bride wanted barbeque, [and] he wanted to have [renowned chef] Jean Georges cook.” As a result of the differences, the wedding “was on again off again for the past few days. [Foster] was calling it off because she wasn’t getting the things that she wanted. The mother was calling it off … Usher was calling it off.”
Boring, loring, snoring… Jesus. Tell me it’s because the pregnant fiancee revealed herself to be Tameka Foster’s evil twin and that the real Tameka was actually carrying the child of — I don’t know — Ronnie James Dio or something. Not because you couldn’t decide on the fucking beef brisket and your mom didn’t like the bride. Come on! This is Hollywood, for Chrissake! Surely you can do better than that. In similar news, there was a lot of lint in my dryer filter this morning and I flossed for three minutes after a breakfast of Fiber One and prunes. Definitely one for the journal. Further bulletins as events warrant!
6 Comments, Comment or Ping
Manny
This chick is 31 flavors of fugly. You would think he could find better, but that’s what you get when you scrape the bottom of the barrel (by that I mean hook up with a ghetto broad from Oakland). You’d think his agent would run some kind of background check. Don’t all black people have criminal records?
Jul 30th, 2007
abby
And gold teeth and bastard children? Ah, stereotypes. Just wait while I adjust my framed college degree and peruse my diversified portfolio and stock options.
Jul 30th, 2007
margaretta
I thought Usher was married to Diddy?
Jul 30th, 2007
Manny
No, no, margaretta. Diddy is married to Suge Knight. They had a secret ceremony in the Hamptons two years ago. I hear Diddy is the pitcher.
Jul 30th, 2007
margaretta
Thanks for that update Manny, I must’ve missed those nuptials.
Jul 31st, 2007
Patdude
Not all black people Have criminal records, some fly above the
CIA rader.
Thanks,
CIA Crimestoppers,
We can’t keep up with all of them…”People”, if you
know what I mean. We are trying our best….
Right now the Focus is on White Male, White Collar Criminals
and ARABS…. They have more money..and we want to know
where they get it from…
Aug 6th, 2007
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