Some Dude Probably Had Sex with Britney Spears
In an issue set to hit newsstands tomorrow, US Weekly scored an exclusive interview with some college kid (pictured above, who looks frighteningly like Jim Carrey in his “In Living Color” days) who allegedly spent an evening in the company of Britney Spears.
In just five hours, Encinias went from being an extra in her latest video to pounding drinks and locking lips with the single mom of two in a rooftop pool at L.A’s Standard Downtown hotel. “Britney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed,” Encinias tells Us. “I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot.”
As for the “shocking” details of what happened afterwards back in “Britney’s hotel room” — we have to wait for the issue to publish. Although, my guess is that these “shocking details” will mostly consist of him recounting that nailing Britney was like “making love to a rabid donkey” — or possibly that not all the alcohol on this earth could stop him from getting flashbacks from when he was nine and walked in on his Great Aunt Clara getting out of the shower as he gazed upon Britney’s naked breasts. By now, if someone could present me with information about Britney Spears that would legitimately “shock” me — I’d have to incredulously toss the bottle over my shoulder and join a nunnery.
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Shocking details will include how it felt to have been forced into the sex act, the coarse stubble chafing the skin, the welts from being held down, the fetid alcohol laced breath on the back neck and the tear,s oh GOD, the tears and the psychological pain to last a lifetime.
Female on male rape is a secret shame….until now.
Aug 8th, 2007
Dragulf
He saw her nipples then he went blind? What?
Aug 8th, 2007
litelysalted
Yeah, but don’t feel too sorry for the dude — I’m sure Us Weekly paid a hefty price for his psychological pain and suffering. Kind of like those trapped coal miners who sold their story to Disney — only with less “Triumphs of the human spirit” so much as “Depths of human depravity.”
Aug 8th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
No amount of money will heal his wounds Salty, no ….amount, is enough…
Aug 8th, 2007
open mouth jones
any woman who makes Kevin Federline look like an AWESOME dad is almost worth admiring. I mean sucking at motherhood that much really takes skill and dedication.
Aug 8th, 2007
margaretta
Was there a squabble over Ripple?
Aug 8th, 2007
RichPort
What’s with the whole sunglasses in the water trend? Stupid fucks.
Aug 9th, 2007
Ditto
This is the only way she can get rid of her kids and be able to live with herself in the future. She has convinced herself that she is still acting like a mother providing for them and taking them places and she really hasn’t abused them.
Britney couldn’t live with herself if she just gave them to K-Fed nor would the public ever let her forget that. This in her mind is the most acceptable way of getting her freedom to do whatever the hell she wants whenever the hell she want. She can argue she didn’t do anything wrong but keep them up late. Her private time is just that private, to do what she wants. It’s doubtful she will ever take responsibility for anything ever going wrong in her life or her son’s life. That would mean accountability, rules, and answering to society and how people live as a whole. Time schedules, school for the boys, doctor visits, diets, and remember no one is ever going to tell her ever what to do. I’m surprised she abides by the rules of the road or taxes.
If she can drink, go topless and bottomless in public then she’ll allow her boys too at what age? After all she won’t allow anyone to tell her what to do. For a rich person can committ felony theft of $20,000.00 worth of clothes and goods. But a poor person were to walk off with the same and they would do how much time behind bars according to the California Penal System?
She hasn’t hit rock bottom by any way shape or form. Wait for the fireworks, the best is yet to come.
Britney has found a way to get rid of her children and they will pay the price for the rest of their lives for being her children and the way she behaves in public. It’s a sin and she should do penance.
Ditto
Aug 11th, 2007
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