Yikes, hold onto your breakfast kids — it has been more or less confirmed that Britney Spears consummated her relationship with professional illusionist/nutsack Criss Angel. The Daily Mail reports:

The chaotic star was seen returning to an LA hotel at 4am with the magician after a night drinking Dom Perignon champagne.

The Vegas showman, who stars in his own TV show called Mindfreak, invited her to spend the night with him — and she agreed. They tried to check in to the exclusive Hotel Bel-Air but staff refused them a room. The pair then went to The Tower Beverly Hills hotel where they were seen holding hands on the way to their 11th floor suite and spotted opening a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne on the balcony.

At 2am they came down clutching champagne and went for a late-night drive in Criss’s Rolls Royce Phantom. They then returned to the hotel at 4am — after allegedly ordering Britney’s bodyguard to pick up some condoms at a 7-Eleven store.

This must have marked a new milestone for Criss Angel as it was likely the first time in his life getting some poon without having to use his powers of “Mindfreaking” to score it. I can picture how the scenario must have gone down — Criss trying to hypnotize Britney by slipping some opiates into her champagne and dangling some fruity little medallion around in her face. Once he finally notices that dead-eyed, vacant look in her eyes he goes to make his move — only to have Britney suddenly squawk, “Are we’s gonna have sex or are you gonna keep playin’ wit that necklace like some sorta fag all night?” It appears the Mindfreaker has become the Mindfreakee. Kinda poetic, actually.

More of Britney and her sucky new boyfriend, after the jump.

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