Uncle Kracker is a Pervert
The musician known as “Uncle Kracker” is being held on a $5 million bond after being arrested and charged with a “second-degree forcible sex offense” near Raleigh, North Carolina early this morning. TMZ says:
Raleigh Police tell TMZ that Kracker was busted early Friday morning after a 26-year-old female approached an off-duty cop in a nightclub and reported that “he had committed a sexual act against her while she was inside the establishment.” Uncle Kracker, aka 33-year-old Matthew Shafer, was busted by Raleigh police at an Embassy Suites hotel around 4:45 AM.
I don’t know about all of this — I mean, just looking into those sexy brown “come hither” eyes and luscious puckered lips, I find it a little hard to believe that a total hunk like Uncle Kracker would have to force anything upon any red-blooded woman. I’m even having a difficult time restraining myself from tonguing the computer monitor right now. This chick clearly must have been a lesbian or insane or something. If you ask me, we should file a class-action suit against her for tarnishing the virtuous good name of Uncle Kracker.
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
Penis Mightier
He must have told her to “Follow Me” and she didn’t listen. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ha!
Aug 17th, 2007
Carrie
Wow… Kevin James looks terrible with a feathered mullet.
Aug 17th, 2007
JohnL
Why can’t these younger musicians try to be class acts like the previous generation? I’m sure Pete Townsend and Gary Glitter are shaking their heads in disappointment right now.
Aug 17th, 2007
margaretta
Britney…he’s just waiting for you gal.
Aug 17th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
That is one crazy cracka-ass cracka!
Aug 17th, 2007
RichPort
THis guy couldn’t pay a $50 bond… hence, he’s scay-roooood.
Aug 17th, 2007
Josey Wales
Murderers have had to post smaller bonds then 5 million. Geesh!
Aug 17th, 2007
Josey Wales
I just read this…
District Judge Jane Gray ruled a $5 million bond is outside the guidelines for a Class C felony like the charge against Shafer. The bond should have been between $50,000 and $200,000, she said.
Soooo… Judge Jane Gray corrected the intentional mistake that another judge made.
What did Uncle Kracker do, kiss the gal?
Aug 17th, 2007
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