Britney Spears is Going to Shock You
Tags: Britney Spears
Get ready to be knocked on your ass by Britney Spear’s comeback performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. According TMZ
Brit-Brit presented her opening act to MTV honchos this past Monday, and [revealed] that she’s “planning it to be a big comeback performance” and that her goal is to make it “shocking.” Amusingly enough, one idea that got the nix was a performance of “My Prerogative” within a medley of her old hits, while images of [Justin Timberlake] and [Kevin Federline] showed on a screen behind her.
Yeah, nothing shocks quite like “a medley of old hits.” And how exactly does a fatass with two very publicly failed marriages, a couple of kids currently under investigation for abuse, a bald head, a drinking problem and an underpants shortage “shock” anyone? Her performance better involve flame throwers and Jimmy Hoffa and maybe a couple of species believed to be extinct for the last thousand years. Or maybe just a demure sweater set and pair of pants and actual singing. “Is that Britney Spears? It can’t be! I don’t see ass cheeks! No way — see, that girl’s tits are all covered up! I… oh, my –” and then a crash as they slump to the floor in a dead faint. That’s when I’ll put down my parasol and pull some smelling salts out of my corset and tell Captain Butler I’d be happy to dance the Virginia Reel with him, until Jimmy Hoffa steps in — dun dun DUN — and challenges him to a duel beneath a canopy of passenger pigeons carrying flame throwers. Shocking, isn’t it? With Britney’s comeback performance and my “Gone with the VMAs” idea it’s pretty much a guaranteed ratings knockout.
More of Sheryl Crow’s LSFW old lady nipples after the jump, because old lady nipples still trump wonky fat girl nipples. Blame math and the law of proportions, not me.
28 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Britney should pull a Daffy Duck and drink a combination of TNT, nitro and Mr. Clean then step on a land mine wrapped with ten pounds of C4. Best exit performance EVAR, sadly to be performed only…. once.
PS: Sheryl Crow looks like SHIT.
Aug 30th, 2007
open mouth jones
To be fair, lately it’s not so much an underpants shortage, as a pants shortage. She’s determined, not to show the ‘brit-bits’, but rather to show that she can, in fact, actually wear underwear. And not just on her head as a weave wrap either.
Aug 30th, 2007
RichPort
Those are some sorry looking titties.
Aug 30th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Mmmmmm… I’m hungry for some Crow… time to pull over the short yellow bus for some milk and cookies.
Aug 30th, 2007
abby
LOL, Slim!
Aug 30th, 2007
sonya
Heh heh, I remember that Looney Toons episode.
“…I ask that those with weak constitutions leave the theater…”
Aug 30th, 2007
Tony
If those are old lady nipples, she can be my old lady any time!
Aug 30th, 2007
Ruby Jackson
Ha ha, that’s very funny writing.
Love the Loonie Tunes idea!
Aug 31st, 2007
sweet_girls_girl
Jennifer Hudson where she knew about news report when she as well.
I know where else she knows about it,I know where skiers when well..
But i know where she was there I know..
But Jennifer Lopez I totally named her good..But I know like that Jennifer Hudson good,I am great with someone like that..
But I know that Sheryl Crow,I know where else…
Now I wasnt there where I know Mariah Carey and I know that s right where she knew Backstreeet Boys….
Feb 24th, 2010
sweet_girl_girls_fan
Jennifer Lopez was she there with sin UnderPants she knows why?
But i am greats sin my hand somewhere in UnderPants where else huh….
Feb 26th, 2010
sweet_girl_girls_045
maybe some those has something didnt know what`s else she know`s about Rapper She ain`t Good,wother with something great about UNCLE`S SHIT MEN`S SHIT…Your nothing but Stupid Magarina`s shit…
Mar 1st, 2010
girl_458
I know why why why she doesnt know about Sheryl Crow…
But I know about life with them with Music…
I know about her music her great…
I know she amazing right huh…
Mar 17th, 2010
sweet_girl_honey
Sheryl Crow I still love her from myself and i know that i still love the,fans..
Mar 21st, 2010
sweet_girls_honey
Yes why why why don`t you leave it alone with this Sheryl Crow..
Mar 21st, 2010
sweet_girl_45
yes why why why because she doesn`t cared about much about Sheryl Crow,you know…But I still got you back..Buy something from her from anywhere else you seen you..
Mar 25th, 2010
sweet_girls_45
because she always didnt got it,back with something like new about tight it.
Mar 25th, 2010
sweet_girl_45
Sheryl Crow she great huh,i KNOW..
Mar 25th, 2010
sweetgirls
But I know about Sheryl Crow How life with them great huh,I know about those people…………
Mar 26th, 2010
sweetgirl
Yes why why why don`t you know about people,I know how life is this……..Sheryl Crow………….I know………….
Mar 26th, 2010
sweetgirls_45
But I know that someone can`t myself from those who know………..Maybe I am great with those people……..even those can`t myself..
Mar 26th, 2010
sweetgirls_45
yes why why why i don`t know about Sheryl Crow and I know that someone gonna get those caugh with this personna,I know…….
She this One this can`t those……….
Mar 26th, 2010
sweet_babe_honey
But Sheryl Crow she great you know about those fans I know……….Kind of sick thios,I know……..Maybe I know…………..Huh,I know………
Mar 26th, 2010
sweet_babe_girls
Sheryl Crow,I know who`s right about personna,informationa,I know………Maybe I know who`s fault that`s riight,I know…
Maybe I know who`s maybe,I know…………….
Mar 26th, 2010
sweet-girl045
But I know that Sheryl Crow she knows about people.Ok…
Maybe I know someone doesn`t like her Sheryl Crow…………..
Mar 26th, 2010
sweet-girl
Sheryl Crow.
Mar 26th, 2010
sweet-girls
she doesn`t care about people she doesn`t like you even I know that something like good people wouldnt think of Sheryl Crow………
Mar 26th, 2010
sweet_girls
yes why why why don`t you kept this from Sheryl Crow she doesn`t love someone like that I know who`s maybe those kind of sick….
Mar 26th, 2010
Larry
Old Lady nipples ! Bullshit .Sheryl Crow is so Hot and sexy .I’d love to suck on her nipples
May 5th, 2011
Reply to “Britney Spears is Going to Shock You”