Britney Cleared Of All Charges
Because we’re all apparently now living in “Bizarro World” and pretty soon people will be wearing shoes on their hands and shitting out their mouth — Britney Spears’ lawyer announced yesterday that child welfare has cleared Britney of all complaints of child abuse. People reports:
“It does not appear the county will pursue any action at this time,” attorney Laura Wasser said at a hearing in Spears’s custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline. The hearing then went into private session.
After the hearing, Wasser told PEOPLE she doesn’t know who complained. “But I am trying to find out,” she said. Wasser declined to describe the nature of the complaints.
Trying to find out who complained?! Maybe she should out start by making list of people who own televisions and read magazines. Other than people in comas and the elderly in advanced stages of Alzheimer’s, who the hell didn’t complain? I bet that even the homeless guy who lives in the dumpster outside the Spears mansion feels sorry enough for those kids to have called it in once or twice. Also, I’m pretty sure that by holding up signs that said, “HALP US” Sean Preston and Jayden James technically even complained.
More of Britney displaying exemplary mothering skills by acting like drunken twat at the opening of LAX nightclub over the weekend, after the jump.
6 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Way to encourage underwearless behavior and fashion faux pas.
HALP US? Hilarious…
Sep 5th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Apparently she’s also free of soap.
Oh and, burn that couch, ASAP.
Sep 5th, 2007
margaretta
Pigpen needs a straight jacket
Sep 5th, 2007
Dragulf
Orange dress girl looks good.
“Pigpen needs a straight jacket” sums her up nicely.
Sep 5th, 2007
open mouth jones
So that’s where my shower curtain went! Seriously, every time I turn around, some other ugly chick (see Olson Twins) is wearing my shower curtain out and about.
All this time I have wasted bitching about my run away shower curtain, when, in fact it has been performing such heroic feats as covering Britney’s “LADY” bits.
Sep 5th, 2007
bionic bunny
yeah, i sure wouldn’t want to sit that close to her. no tellin’ where she’s been.
you know, i got a phone call from the district shrink after i told my kid’s teacher that my daughter had stolen $80— and they worried that my kid seemed upset.
yet this vacuous hole practically gets away with murder.
sorry. TMI.
Sep 5th, 2007
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