Jessica Simpson Has Got Giant Balls

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Jessica Simpson pissed off guests at a W Magazine bash in NYC on Wednesday night by commandeering an entire balcony for herself and her entourage, barring other guests from entering. From Us Weekly:

The party — which was honoring Simpson’s new stylist Britt Bardo — was extremely hot and guests kept retreating to the balcony to cool off and get some fresh air. But after Simpson arrived, publicists cleared out the entire patio for the singer and her posse, angering the crowd and causing most of the guests to leave.

“It was so hot and she got the whole thing just for herself? I am livid,” one eyewitness told Us. Once outside, Simpson, 27, talked mostly to her mane man Ken Paves and danced while publicists fiercely guarded the door and wouldn’t let any other guests on the patio.

This broad sure has got some nerve. Considering that she’s a huge joke who just got dumped by wusstard John Mayer, her career is spiraling into the toilet, and she looks like a female impersonator — a little grace wouldn’t fucking kill her. By the time she’s done shitting all over her fans and picking up the shards of her career, she’ll be lucky if she can get work doing hourly live shows at “Great Adventure.”

More photos of Jess looking trans-tastic on her way to the bash last night, after the jump!

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15 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. CAUTION: Deer in the headlights crossing. Next stop for the short yellow bus- Dumb Blonde Middle School, where today’s lesson will be on the art of pretending to be talented. Tutor services will be avaialble for the inbred, self-absorbed and those with stage fathers looking for a quick buck.

  2. Oh my god she managed to take 4 whole pictures without turning her mouth into a gaping maw of death. I’m impressed. You know that took some will power.

  3. Her mouth just naturally opens wide. Thank her dad.

  4. Now that I see her with her mouth closed — I notice that the open mouth really takes away from her “butt chin.”

  5. I LOVE JESSICA! SHE’S BEAUTIFUL!! SHE’S TALENTED!! SHE’S ADORABLE!!

  6. Id do her until exhaustion killed us both

  7. Her nose looks BETTER! SHE’S IN DIRE NEED OF CHARM SCHOOL, MONIQUE, DONALD PLEASE ENROLL MISS SIMPSON PLEASE! SHE NEEDS THE TOMBOY KNOCKED OUT OF HER!!

  8. The headline should read “Jessica Simpsons Has Got Giant Balls, Nose, Jaw”

  9. The headline should actually read:

    Jessica Simpson Has (Daddy’s) Giant Balls… In Her Mouf

  10. I can smell her from here

  11. Oh! What lovely ham-hocks she has for legs! Not to mention that broom she’s tied to her head.

  12. Bam said her pussy is rank stanky, and you can just look at her and tell its true

  13. So why did the morons at W magazine let her take over the balcony? Didn’t they have bouncers?

    p.s. She is utterly talentless and appears to have the personality of a slug but I’d do her in a New York minute! :-)

  14. Hmmmmm…her stylists might have mentioned that the plunging back of her dress did nothing but emphasize the UTTER flatness of her ass. Ugh!

    Also, she’s looking an awful lot like Ricky Martin in a blonde wig these days.

  15. I think she went overboard with the collagen or lip implant. Looks like she got thick caps on her front teeth as well.

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