Britney Spears Fails Yet Again
If you happened to turn on MTV last night, say around 9ish, you may have noticed a beleaguered and heavily sedated rhino dressed in a ratty ass weave and sparkly black undergarments stumbling around on stage like it was shot in the ass with a tranquilizer dart only moments before. Or at least that’s what I thought, anyway, after chugging down the three bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 it took to “mentally prepare” myself for watching the MTV Video Music Awards.
However this morning, after the smoke had cleared and candy colored vomit had dried — I realized that it was no bum-wine induced hallucination after all, but a bona fide Britney Spears “performance.” (Watch it here!) Kinda disappointing, if you ask me. I mean sure it was a colossal failure — I’ve seen lip syncing performed with more vigor and flair at the lip syncing talent competitions my Elementary School used to host every year — but it wasn’t the colossal failure of epic proportions we were all hoping for. I mean, wasn’t she supposed to fuck up a magic trick or something? Sheesh.
More of Britney looking fat and disheveled at the motherfucking VMAs, after the jump.
41 Comments, Comment or Ping
Miwanna
You know how anorexics supposedly look in the mirror and see fat on themselves when in reality they are starving to death?
I think Britney must look in the mirror and see a sexy skinny girl instead of a used up overweight lard ass or she would never keep exposing her body the way she does.
That was just embarrassing to watch. Enough said.
Sep 10th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
of Mad Dog 20/20 it took to “mentally prepare” myself for watching the MTV Video Music Awards….”
Ha! La dee da…look at Miss Moneybags; think you better than me? Ah? I keep it real, I downed a bottle of Canario cooking wine, rich jerk, pfffffft.
OT: You smell that? That’s the sweeeeeet stench of failure, CRY cry for Barbado you filthy cow-beast.
Sep 10th, 2007
margaretta
Gimmie Less…Bitch!
Sep 10th, 2007
Dragulf
Her inner fattie is no longer screaming.
Sep 10th, 2007
AceCool
Wow did Britney make a statement. She epitomized what is wrong with America in a single performance. Her fat and stoned performance while dressed like a whore should have never been aired. This is the kind of person who Americans aspire to? Only if the media and marketing geniuses get their way.
With a body that was on par with that of a typical over weight lard ass, couch potato football watching hog, who in their right mind would approve her as a performer?
Britney should resolve that her career as a performer is dead. She can either choose to be a good mother or hang with Paris and show she is a typical American whore.
What was with all the stripper poles anyway?
America lets clean up our act and earn some respect.
Stop watching and buying this garbage.
Sep 10th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Pay attention kids YOU TOO can be like Clitster, just half ass , drink and not bathe your way through life.
Sep 10th, 2007
RichPort
The only thing the Mind Freak dude helped to disappear was any chance at a return to her former glory. She looked a lot better than I expected but, much like serving drinks at a midget convention, I set the bar pretty loooooooooow…
They seriously need have her jetskiing in shark infested water in her next video. MTV giveth and they taketh away… maybe hammering the final nail in her coffin was their latest gift to pop culture.
Sep 10th, 2007
litelysalted
I think her former glory was shot waaaay before the magician entered the picture. If I had to pinpoint it, I’d say the turd of her career was effectively flushed down the toilet when she flashed her razor burned beav however many months back.
Sep 10th, 2007
RichPort
I personally liked Sarah Silverstein’s vag impression… classic…
Sep 10th, 2007
Jacey Blue
I love how America keeps calling her fat when the average woman is a size 10!
Sep 10th, 2007
Meg
This makes me sad on so many levels. Remember a time when she would thrust along just as viciously as her back up dancers? Now it looks like she’s completely lost on stage. Did she go to rehearsals? Oh, right, she didn’t. Boo on her.
Sep 10th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
“…I love how America keeps calling her fat when the average woman is a size 10!…”
Yeah nice try, have you called Jenny yet, fatso?
Sep 10th, 2007
RichPort
She couldn’t even lip sync the giggle part right. Here tubby… I’m waving hi with just one finger. Lip sync that beeotch!
Sep 10th, 2007
overrated whores r bores
This retard just does not know when to quit does she?, it is very sad and her sister is next, god who in fucks name told her she was sexy?
Bleeeeeerrrrggghhhh
American media needs to wake the fuck up and stop peddling such bullshit and tripe and stop fucking up society with all of the fake tanned, air headed losers and nobody celebrities it’s pathetic.
Sep 10th, 2007
Scooby Doo
No, Jacey, the average woman is a aize 14-16. I’m going to date myself when I make this comment, but the MTV awards were great when they first started in the mid 1980’s, now it’s just a joke, and it should have ended as far back as 2000. JT was right about the station needing to play more videos and stop all this reality TV crap, but maybe they’ll dig themselves right into bottomless oblivion. No wonder people download music free, who wants to pay for this crap, or see it? Spears needs to go hide out somewhere, she’s a train wreck that will never get on track, not within a year, or more. In my opinon, it just shows the lack of talent she has, so why is everyone surprised? With slick production, and before she became a boozing pill popping skank, she did what was expected, now, she’s just a reject.
Sep 10th, 2007
open mouth jones
At least her bits didn’t come flying out of her nasty ass shorts. that would have been just what america needs: brits giant roast beef like vag lips flapping in the breeze. come to think of it, maybe those lips were the ones she was lip synching with?
Sep 10th, 2007
open mouth jones
and jacey blue, you loser: who gives a rats ass if the average american woman is a size 0 or 10 or fuckin 16. america still doesn’t want their pop tarts to jiggle like saint nick.
Sep 10th, 2007
Sirya
ehm, reality check, anyone?!
btw: how much did she get paid for this terrible performance?
Sep 10th, 2007
mel
SHES NOT FAT!! ffs people ok she fucked up her performance but she bloody looks great, shes had 2 kids, eats junk food all the time and looks stunning, ok shes not as tonnes as before but who cares shes a real woman cnt be more than a size 8-10uk im a size 14 at 180 lbs and have no kids and dont eat as much shit as her and look at me lol.. go Brit !!
Sep 10th, 2007
L.
Ms. Spears looked like she didn’t want to be there or the tranquilizers were much too strong. Or both.
Sadly, we will see her again. The drugs will be corrected and handlers will step in that she listens to. She’ll tighten up, perfect her lipsynching, and return to her marginal dancing skills glory. As long as a woman looks “hot”, America will buy the drivel she shovels.
Sep 10th, 2007
Penis Mightier
I think not. She’s done.
Sep 10th, 2007
saratha
This was the final nail…..
Sep 10th, 2007
Anonymous 1981
People wouldn’t make such a big deal about her expanding waistline if she wore figure-appropriate clothing! Yes, we all know most of the country is fat, but you don’t see most of the country waddling around on stage on television with hot pants and 2 bras that don’t fit. I’m twice Brit’s size, but would I embarrass myself like that? No, because I have some damn sense. Brit has a nice figure for a mother of two, but she needs to dress to accentuate what’s good about her figure. She killed her own performance last night, it was all her fault and she can blame no one else. Awww, Sarah Silverman made fun of her, if she didn’t act like the world’s dumbest black sheep, no one would have anything to say. She should have gone on stage and given one of her “decent” performances, then Sarah would have had to make bad jokes about Paris again (for the record, her Paris going to jail joke was the peak of her career, she needs a big “hoe sit down”). Respect is earned (most of the time) and people are over accepting whatever BS she’s selling just because she’s Britney f*ing Spears. We all expected a trainwreck and that’s what we got. Hopefully, this marks the ending of a career that should have never been.
Sep 10th, 2007
Alison
Just because the average size is 10-14 does not mean it’s ok to be 10-14. I will probably be bashed for this but have always thought of this. People (or media) always bring thin people to attention as “too skinny” or “gross” but people who are considered overweight are always “curvy and beautiful.” Being too overweight is just as bad as being too thin, but Americans overlook the overweight people because 60% of Americans are overweight, which have plenty of backup support for overweight celebrities (or just people in general). If the average size of women was 25, would you still say “she’s not fat, she’s in the average!” Honestly a lot more people need to go see their health practitioners and get the real information. Those who are considered “too skinny” and “need to eat more french fries” are really at a healthy size and the “curvy and beautiful” are the ones who really need to think about their body size.
What bugs me the most is people who are “thin” (normal) are considered too skinny and they always get crappy comments like, “you need to eat more. You’re too skinny” but when you tell some overweight people, “you need to eat less. You’re too fat” you get bashed and you are this awful person.
What’s even worse is people who are at a healthy weight exercising everyday and eating healthy gets comments like, “You don’t need to exercise.” Um, excuse me? EVERYBODY NEEDS TO EXERCISE. People think exercise is just to lose weight but it’s NOT. This is why many Americans are so overweight but they think they’re “ok” - wake up and smell the coffee.
Sep 10th, 2007
RayRay
Thank you Alison! You said what needed to be said! I get told all the time that I need to eat more, because I’m a size 4, when actually I am at my ideal body weight for my height and frame. And I’m sick of all the skinny comments. Honestly, if you’re fat, eat less and exercise. That’s it. I’m not gonna get behind Camryn Manheim or these other overweight actors and celebrities JUST BECAUSE they’re overweight. Big effing deal. I eat a lot, RESPECT ME FOR IT!
And Britney, well, that’s just sad. I used to hate her for being abnormally hot, but now I actually look better in a bikini than her. Oh how times have changed. She needs to go the way of her career, to the gutter.
Sep 10th, 2007
getalife
woah….first of all, brit-brit is NOT overweight…she’s probably btw 125-150; and for her height, that’s NOT overweight.
As for her performance…i think Kanye expressed my sentiments in just the right way:
“I have no words.”
Sep 10th, 2007
getalife
sidebar….you still drink mad dog 20/20? LOL. My first (and last) drink of that “bum-wine” had me flat on my ass…gurgling vomit and promising Jesus i would get saved if he didn’t let me die.
Seriously.
Sep 10th, 2007
DiamondSal
It doesn’t get better than seeing that fine comedian Sarah Silverman in action taunting crude-retard Paris not too long ago.. and now Calling out a well deserved public chastisement to Britney Spears for verbally abusing her innocent sons, claiming “They ruined her marriage and were mistakes!” in front of the world, her peers, fans and in support of those Kids with this skanky-ho vulgar dumbell for a mother.. rotten daughter, and sickest human alive.. and seeing Britney really act the loser, doped up, drunk.. lazy stripper-grungy and fat.. missing the whole fine come-back act she bragged upon.. hee hee! “It’s Britney Bitches?!! oh hahahaha I applauded Sarah once again!
Sep 10th, 2007
Misstressterry
Fuck all you judgemental assholes!
Sep 10th, 2007
Penis Mightier
Hey look! Brit still has a fan. Fucking tool.
Sep 10th, 2007
Ginger
Reading this comment thread was delightful!
Britney has always sucked. Just not enough smoke and mirrors in the world to fully obscure that fact anymore.
Sep 10th, 2007
as if
wtf is going on with the people in the bottom left of the 3rd pic…
Sep 10th, 2007
Holy Meap
Yeeeah - as always such a pleasure to read your take on the situation … what a crack up!
Next you will be drinking Boones Farm, and I think you will need it too because this unfortunately isn’t the last we have heard from Britney!!
Sep 10th, 2007
Tim
It’s part of a celebrity’s job to be an “ideal” weight and Britney used to have that rockin bod with a perfect stomach, not too thin, not fat at all. She’s competing with herself, really, and yes, in contrast to her former self, she’s fat.
Sep 10th, 2007
East Coast Al
I’ve never been a brit fan, But I’m sure half the assholes, reporters and losers ragging on this girls need to look in the mirror and look hard. See how you would like being in the spotlight when theres 100000 more important things in the world to be ragging on and stuffing the stick up your ass about, Fuel prices, the war, child abductions , government scandel, I think you assholes need to look at the big picture and stop worrying about the bullshit, I mean, who cares about stars and their messed up lives?????????????? sure aint me
Sep 10th, 2007
Team Valtrex
Well, Big Gay Al, you sure seem to get a stick up your ass about people expressing their opinions. Awwww, you really DO care!!
Sep 11th, 2007
Softcoppertone
LMAO! did u see that shit! did u see this bitches hair! LMAO LOOKS LIKE THEY GLUED SOME 99CENT WEAVE IN HER FUCKING HEAD, THEN TOOK HER TO THAT LIL KOREAN LADY AND GOT HER NAILS DONE. SOME PIMP OFFA CRENSHAW TOLD BRITNEY SHE WAS CUTE AND THE BITCH THOUGHT SHE COULD PERFORM ON STAGE. LMAO
WAIT WAIT DID N E ONE SEE HER ASS ALMOST FALL/PASS OUT?!
THEN! TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY SHE TURNS HER BACK TO EVERYONE! AS IF WE DIDNT ALREADY HAVE BLEEDING PUPILS FROM THE FRONT SIDE!!
GAHD BRITNEY WTF. YOU LET A MAN FUCK YO LIFE UP, AS IF YOU WOULDNT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN. WAIT I FORGOT, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE STILL PERFORMS.
U KNOW I THINK BRITNEY WILL END UP DOING PORN AND SHE WOULD EVEN DISGRACE THAT INDUSTRY.
Sep 11th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Re: RayRay and Alison, this is not “Anorexics Enablers” take your little agenda and wrap it on a hoagie with lots corned beef and cram it down your pieholes.
Sep 11th, 2007
keeleyfan
Well, I for one think she still very sexy. The fact that she can’t sing and is trailer park trash is besides the point though.
Sep 11th, 2007
robbyrob
i dont really think it was a bad performance!!!
thank again i didnt look at the performance
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2247119
Sep 11th, 2007
Mitsu
Well said, Alison! It’s scary how, as America gets fatter and fatter, large sizes are becoming more accepted simply because they are “normal.” The obesity epidemic is no joke, and the ultimate outcome will not only be masses of unhealthy, unhappy people, but also a burden on our taxpayers to help pay for their health care, not to mention the diminishing of our labor pool because obese people are often too unhealthy to earn a living and be productive. I’ve been seeing it time and again over the last few years, but everybody’s too busy complaining about how destructive the super-sickly-thin models are in ruining young girls’ self-image to realize that the flip side of what’s going on is that “fat” is becoming the norm! Open your eyes and take a look around, people! We are becoming a nation of unhealthy, waddling sows! And, frankly, I’m sick of not being allowed to open my mouth simply because of my smaller body size. What a double standard. I have taken years of insults and abuse, and I’m not allowed to say anything for fear of hurting some fat person’s feelings, when people feel free to come up to me and tell me things like “You’re not a real woman” because I don’t have huge breasts or hips. I am a normal size, and I am a full grown woman who happens to be thin, and there’s nothing wrong with me or anyone else who is naturally skinny.
That said, I think Britney is well within the “normal” range, not fat, and people should get off her case. She’s most likely mentally ill, and clearly delusional if she thought she could go on national television in that outfit and not catch any flack for it. She thought she could go to the Taco Bell drive-through and then just spray on some fit-looking abs - well, she was wrong.
Sep 13th, 2007
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