Sep 20, 2007

“Major” Movie Star Is a Major Mistake

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I heard that when Meryl Streep saw these pictures of Jessica Simpson on the set of her new movie “Major Movie Star,” she stormed directly into her agent’s office started screaming, “This should be me! ME!” and flinging her Oscars through a window. And while she was sobbing and glass was shattering, Katherine Hepburn rolled over in her grave to shake one angry fist at the sky. Why do all the best roles always go to the girls with big tits? I’m telling you, man, the Academy is fucking rigged.

More of drunken vagrant Jessica after the jump

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7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. open mouth jonesNo Gravatar

    Clearly should stick with Colt next time.

    Sep 20th, 2007

  2. abbyNo Gravatar

    I’m a Boone’s Farm girl myself.

    Sep 20th, 2007

  3. Otto the Short Yellow Bus DriverNo Gravatar

    Were thse pictures from the movie or was this caught by thr papz out on Pimpa Joe’s farm. Hard to tell the difference.

    Sep 20th, 2007

  4. margarettaNo Gravatar

    For Jess it would be Ripple

    Sep 20th, 2007

  5. Otto the Short Yellow Bus DriverNo Gravatar

    Ripple, Colt and Boone’s Farm are to low-class for Jess she’s definitely a Mad Dog 20-20 drinker, with the brown paper bag cover for a touch of class.

    Sep 20th, 2007

  6. open mouth jonesNo Gravatar

    or how about natural ice? they go real well with the brown paper bags.

    Sep 21st, 2007

  7. Otto the Short Yellow Bus DriverNo Gravatar

    I heard her next gig will be the spokesbum for bumwine.com, the official site for bum wine connesiers like her.

    Sep 21st, 2007

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