Sep 24, 2007

Lindsay Lohan Breaks Up Marriages

Tags:

lindsay_lohan_rehab_5.jpg

British packaging heiress Stephanie Allen began divorce proceedings last week after discovering her husband, this guy:

tony_allen_douche_bag_1.jpg

had been sticking it to Lindsay Lohan while in rehab. The Daily Mail reports

Exhibit ‘A’, which is attached to the divorce papers, includes articles claiming Lohan started a relationship with Tony Allen while they were both being treated at the Cirque Lodge clinic in Utah. Stephanie is said to have been “devasted” by the allegations. A friend reportedly said: “She went through IVF three times and suffered two miscarriages, and when they finally got two beautiful babies, he hooks up in rehab with a girl half his age.” Tony has denied the Lohan sex claims, but another report claims that when mates in a bar quizzed him about it, he boasted: “C’mon, it’s Lindsay Lohan. Hell, yes! Wouldn’t you?”

I sure hope the firecrotch tasted good going down, because Tony there is saying auf Wiedersehen to the 1.5 billion dollar empire that is Linpac Packaging. They make all the boxes for McDonald’s world wide. I said McDonalds. Yes. Little dollar bills with wings are literally fluttering around this woman at all times, and Tony’s just gonna pluck them out of the air and use them to wipe the stank off his wiener. It would have probably been easier to just slam an encyclopedia shut on his dick a couple of times and pay a meth whore to swab her mouth sores with it, but, you know, where’s the fun in that? I’m pretty sure guys who wear eyeliner really like a good challenge. And a good ass-kicking and writing poems in their journal, but that’s really beside the point.

More of Lindsay dressed as a Foot Locker employee on the way to see ‘Good Luck Chuck’ after the jump

lindsay_lohan_rehab_4.jpg

lindsay_lohan_rehab_3.jpg

lindsay_lohan_rehab_2.jpg

lindsay_lohan_rehab_1.jpg

Related Stories

6 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. mariusNo Gravatar

    NICE

    Sep 24th, 2007

  2. ravinglooneyNo Gravatar

    Yeah, you can take the trash out of the trailer…but you can take the whore out of the trash.

    Sep 24th, 2007

  3. BarbadoSlimNo Gravatar

    Hope it was the best fuck of your life bubba, cause it just cost you half a bil.

    Sep 24th, 2007

  4. abbyNo Gravatar

    There was a whore in my trash just this morning. She smelled like bacon and jizz. Or maybe that was just the garbage. It was kinda hard to tell.

    Sep 24th, 2007

  5. open mouth jonesNo Gravatar

    Yeah, I’d give up fluttering dollar signs for someone who can’t even come up with better excuses than ‘the black guy drove’ and ‘they weren’t my pants’.
    I dare any one of you to come up with a better excuse for coming in late to work; ‘they weren’t my PANTS!’.

    Sep 24th, 2007

  6. Otto the Short Yellow Bus DriverNo Gravatar

    Maybe this is why Ritch Sambora checked into Cirque Lodge, he wanted a piece of the action also. I wonder if there are any openings… I always feel a need for crotch rot everytime I see a wanna-be celebutard.

    Sep 24th, 2007

Reply to “Lindsay Lohan Breaks Up Marriages”