George Clooney’s Girfriend Has Racy Past
Tags: George Clooney
George Clooney’s new girlfriend Sarah Lawson has been getting a lot of press here lately, especially after that motorcycle accident that left George with a cracked rib and her with a broken foot. An almost fairy-tale princess story — handsome prince George plucks her from oblivion and a Cinderella-esque existence as a waitress to live happily ever after in the kingdom known as Hollywood — a real-life Amélie of sorts. Except not, really. She’s just another ass for him to pound. The Daily Mail reports
Before she became [Clooney's] favourite red carpet companion, the 28-year-old worked as a scantily-clad cocktail waitress at Las Vegas’s Moon nightclub at the Palms Hotel. She has also been photographed posing provocatively with a female friend during a 2005 trip to Amsterdam during a stint as a promotional model. Larson, who briefly appeared on US show Fear Factor, last month abandoned her bar job - and the skimpy bikini uniform that went with it - to travel the world with 46-year-old George.
And there you have it. I found it puzzling that someone without a closet full of tassels and g-strings and platform heels would be granted entrance the Clooney lair, but now it all makes sense. She’s a different kind of whore. You don’t actually have to stuff dollar bills in her underpants to keep her attention. Not that she’d object, mind you. Doesn’t every girl dream of a pantload of sweaty singles? I usually walk around the bus station with the waistband of my track pants held out at arm’s length so that passersby can make charitable donations if they are so inclined. Until security asks me to leave, anyway. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for the day my own George Clooney rolls in on a Greyhound and makes all of my girlish dreams come true.
Some slighty slutty pics of Sarah pre-Clooney after the jump
35 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Here’s a beard that’s gotten more than a few casting couch pubes stuck in her teeth. Nice try Georgie… you’re queer and you’re here… we get it.
Sep 26th, 2007
overrated whores r bores
ZZzzzzZZzzzzzz…never heard of her, never want to again, George is a great actor though.
Sep 26th, 2007
abby
Plus, she’s ugly. Zing!
Sep 26th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
$5 dolla love you looong time.
Sep 26th, 2007
open mouth jones
And her boobs could use a boost. Or ensure. I’m not sure which one, all I know is they look like they belong on a senior citizen.
Sep 26th, 2007
ravinglooney
I guess she is replacing his beloved pig
Sep 26th, 2007
abby
Touche, glooney!
Sep 26th, 2007
causaubon
i assume that you know this girl personally and therefore can judge her to be “…just another ass for [George] to pound…” because otherwise i don’t see how just by the fact that she has worked at a Hooters style restaurant or “pos[ed] provocatively” makes her “…a different kind of whore.” how does that make you a whore at all? who gives a f**k where she worked or how she’s posed and i don’t see how you, me or anybody else has the right to pass judgement on her for how she has earned a buck in the past because that doesn’t define her character.
you’re an asshole. get over yourself.
Sep 27th, 2007
RichPort
causaubon:
Although I don’t know you personally, I feel it prudent to tell you to blow me.
Hugs and kisses,
RichPort
P.S. George Clooney LTC.
Sep 27th, 2007
IGetIt
” i don’t see how you, me or anybody else has the right to pass judgement on her for how she has earned a buck in the past”
Oh, you are clearly missing the beauty that is the gossip blog. We definitely have the right, nay, the privilege to poke fun, name call and engage in good natured high school snarkiness.
Sep 27th, 2007
Jen
I agree with you causaubon, I’m having a hard time figuring out how she’s either or a whore or a different kind of whore.
Sep 27th, 2007
causaubon
wow, RichPort, you got me. nothing i can say to top that. way to be you.
Sep 27th, 2007
RichPort
I’m great at being me. I even kiss my mirrors. And if I’ve learned anything in life it’s these three things: I’m fucking unfairly attractive and intelligent, aging male actors with “trophy” whores for red carpets LTC, and people who stumble on blogs bashing celebridiots after a google search generally walk away offended.
Life lessons people!
Sep 27th, 2007
ShayShay
I wonder how long she had to spend sequestered with a stylist and a copy of ‘Report of the International Commission of Inquiry on Darfur to the United Nations Secretary-General’ before he’d take her out in public?
Sep 27th, 2007
causaubon
don’t give yourself too much credit dude - i’m not in the least bit offended. getting offend by something you say would require me to actually have a half an ounce of respect for you and/or your opinions. which i don’t, so i’m not.
Sep 27th, 2007
RichPort
And yet you respond… okay, cupcake, you win.
Sep 27th, 2007
causaubon
not that i needed you to tell me that, but thanks - it feels good.
Sep 27th, 2007
RichPort
What feels good? Did you just sit on an ass plug? TMI, causaubon… tmi…
Sep 27th, 2007
lexie
causaubon, RichPort—hahaha–you guys are the biggest douchebags EVA! You seriously made me laugh my ass off, and FTR causaubon, I’m on your side, (I know I just called you a douchebag, but it was because you even responded to this moron for as long as you did). RichPort obviously needs a piece of a** BAD. What do you bet he’s got a small d*ck? I’m going to say…………….yes.
Sep 27th, 2007
RichPort
lexie, I’m sure you wrote, rewrote, then even spell checked that idiotic rant, but no luck… I’m huge and my wife is such a hottie, I knocked her up. Nice try.
I’m on your side? What is this? Sixth grade recess???
Sep 27th, 2007
causaubon
i tried to sit on it, but your head was just too big - i’m still a noobie and haven’t streched that far yet. gimme some time babe, i’ll be ready for you.
Sep 27th, 2007
causaubon
(see what i did there? i called you an ass plug. yay me.)
Sep 27th, 2007
RichPort
You hear that sound of silence? That’s the rousing round of applause your attempt at cleverness has gotten you.
Bottom line: George Clooney LTC, his beard is as yet unproven to be reformed whore, and causaubon is the funniest person EVER. Oh, only one of those three statements is dripping with sarcasm.
Sep 27th, 2007
Walt
Causaubon, you said everything I was thinking about RichPort.
Sep 27th, 2007
lexie
Oh, wow–you knocked your wife up. Big fu*cking deal. Same as every other fat fuc*king a*swipe on the planet. You’re sooooooooooo special RichPort.
PS. “I’m huge.”? WTF? Who says that? You want to send me a pic, too?
Sep 27th, 2007
saratha
I don’t think she’s pretty at all. Everytime I looked at a pic of her and another girl, the other girl was LOTS prettier!!! She’s kinda got a weird looking body. Can’t put my hand on it but somethings kinda manish. Anyway, he’ll dump her in the next week or so and we want have to look at her anyway. He may wait till she’s well again b/c he’s a nice guy like that.
Sep 27th, 2007
saratha
hehe, you guys are funny!!
Sep 27th, 2007
HoBag
This website is weird.
All I’m going to say is that it’s naive to think a waitress who worked on the Las Vegas strip hasn’t seen way more than the average amount of dicks for a hot chick in her lifetime and it’d be silly to assume George thinks any different.
Sep 27th, 2007
The Judge
Basically she’s a whore with one client.
I assume Clooney has her on the payroll as an ‘assistant’ so she’s a tax deductable expense.
Oct 13th, 2007
bella
god he is a looseeerrrrrrr
he could not get a beautiful girl i mean i m shockeddd
she is a looosseer too.oh god lots of victoria secret’s models he could get wow
Jan 9th, 2008
linda
well, lucky her…
wish it was me…that’s all i can say
i agree though she’s not that pretty,
maybe he’s trying to proof to the public that’s it not about looks..ya know
Feb 10th, 2008
Sarah Lawson
THAT”S my naME!!
I’m dating George Clooney?!?! sweet!!
Feb 17th, 2008
Brandon
You can find chics like that a dime a dozen in Bangkok…. wtf?
Feb 26th, 2008
richard
So I guess this makes George a captain save a ho.
Apr 9th, 2008
Ron Magoo
Sweet ass! George give some of us “others” on earth a chance.
Jul 20th, 2008
Reply to “George Clooney’s Girfriend Has Racy Past”