Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom?

Tags: ,

Here’s an eyebrow raiser: Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom reportedly spent the weekend together in Mexico. Yeah, what the hell is that? Although the picture’s kind of grainy and you can’t really make out either of their faces, it’s enough of a vague resemblance for me to proclaim it as pure unadulterated truth. Pictures never lie. That’s why I always bring my camera on dates and stuff — photographic evidence that everything that happened was consensual. Not because I’m some kind of voyeuristic pervert. And before you bring it up, those pictures of me giving the thumbs up and smiling behind that naked guy in the Santa hat tied to the banister were just for my novelty Christmas cards, no matter what that bastard judge tried to insinuate. Seriously, some people have no sense of humor at all. Philistines.

Related Stories

14 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Finally Bloom grows a REAL beard.

  2. With that ’stache he looks like Captain Morgan’s gay cabin boy.

  3. Ohhhhh open mouth jones, BURN. Hahaha.

  4. Just like Clooney and his pig

  5. hahaha you funny girl

  6. i think they are weird as a couple. esp because usually he likes very thin girls and she is not very thin.. here, her belly looks big.

  7. NNo Gravatar

    Re: Sarah’s comment.

    WHAT BELLY? Are you on drugs? Most girls would kill to have her “belly.”

  8. N,
    I would kill to have jen’s old abs.
    these days, it looks fatter.

  9. GOOD FOR JEN SHE LOOKS GREAT AND IS A GREAT ACTRESS, SHE SHOULD BE HAPPY. JEN IS IN THE BEST SHAPE EVER.AS FAR AS HER GUT GOES WHO EVER SAID SHE HAD A BIG ONE IS EITHER ANOREXIC OR ANGELINA….

  10. I’d pounce on Aniston like a pack of starving lions on an unlucky wilderbeast. Only in this case, the wilderbeast would be lucky… or something like that… I mean, we’d make love… yea that’s it… or engage in extreme cardio pulmonary exercise… then pirate eye… AHOOOOOOY!

    Hey frosty… turn down the volume on your keyboard… thanks!

  11. Not nice. She may look fabulous for her age, but she shows her age. He looks much younger than he is, but it suits him. Together, I have this image of little brother with much older sister. Almost incest. Not nice. Anyways, “De gustibus non disputandum.” I think.

  12. Orlando is the best guy you could know - he does so much good work behind the scenes - and Jennifer is super nice too. Why shouldnt they get together? Bitchy remarks only reflect their writers. These are two good human beings who everyone likes & are good to work with. Good luck to them is all that counts. Nicole should be ashamed of herself. Jennifer looks great. So does Orlando - and great if they are just good friends. Is being nice so difficult?

  13. hes wit that old bitch who that no pregy ewww he could have done better like someone young like him shes goin to suck the life out of him hes goin to be old as soon as you know it

Reply to “Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom?”