Britney Loses Custody, Part 2
Tags: Britney Spears
You probably want to know just what Britney did moments after losing custody. After all, this is the chick that once shaved herself bald and beat a car with an umbrella. Did she sink to her knees outside the courthouse and sob hysterically while cradling a pair of baby shoes? Did she heave that pitcher of margaritas inside her purse onto the courthouse steps and try to cut her own wrists with the broken glass? After she’d licked up most of the spilled margarita off the ground, of course? Uh, not quite. Think “big happy smile” and “tanning salon.” According to London’s The Sun
Party girl Brit looked happy [after losing custody] when she was spotted shopping, tanning and then clubbing later that day. Hours after the singer handed over her kids, she headed for her favourite tanning salon to top up her tan before leaving the Peninsula Hotel ready for a night on the town. She also managed to squeeze in obtaining a Californian driving licence, which she was ordered to do weeks ago [to maintain 50/50 custody of the children].
I guess she didn’t have time to make a banner and arrange a parade or whatever it is you do when you want to celebrate without meth and a purse full of margaritas. Probably something with penises, right? Because nothing says “free woman” like a vagina full of man meat. Oh, wait… maybe I’m thinking about getting out of jail. Alright, then — more like “a solitary binky in an empty crib” and “a trash can full of Play Skool toys.” Don’t let’s forget “holidays spent at the local bar” and “golden years spent festering in your own urine in a low-rent old folks home.” Congratulations, Britney! You win!
More of Britney smiling like a lottery winner after the jump
16 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
*cue in Twilight Zone*
Submitted for your approval, a woman one of the unwashed masses from Anytrailer Park USA, she is filthy, and sticky. Look into her eyes lose yourself in depths of her vacuousness…..the eyes of madness.
This…………………………. is a crazy person.
Oct 2nd, 2007
Dragulf
Doesn’t she understand that she needs to WASH HER HAIR!!!
Oct 2nd, 2007
abby
God, I have to get the number of her hair stylist. Bobby pins are the new head band!
Oct 2nd, 2007
lookwhaticando
Now she’s happy, she can party her azz off, and do all the drugs and booz she wants to. She probably had the boys bags packed weeks ago.
Oct 2nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Dear Penthouse Forum:
I usually don’t kiss and tell, but I GOTTA share my tale of my night with Britney Spears. A couple of nights ago I was walking down Pico Boulevard, stalking some prostitutes who owed me money and; who happens to drive up? Yes, the one and only Britney. She was crying and distressed so I took her to the Santa Monica Wal-Mart and bought some soap, shampoo and deodorant for her, we then went to a motel where I made sure she washed up real good.
After making sure she washed up I told her to drive me back to Pico so I could resume the search for the ho’s who owed me money.
Oct 2nd, 2007
ZeZe
Well her boobs seem to be mourning the loss anyway.
Oct 2nd, 2007
open mouth jones
And her hairline is in mourning, too. With such a HUGE forehead you’d think there was something in there. Apparently, not so much.
Oct 2nd, 2007
Dragulf
Open Mouth, there is a lot there, lots of open space.
Barbados, that there is pure storytellin’ at it’s finest Sir. I salute you.
p.s. Ya can’t shine shit.
Oct 2nd, 2007
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
Why even bother to wear a necklace - does she think it redeems the fact that she’s wearing an old satin pillowcase & a bird’s nest on top of her head?
Oct 2nd, 2007
OpenYourEyes!
Those little creeps were holding me back! NOW I Can REALLY party!
Oct 2nd, 2007
DiamondSal
She figures all she has to do is adopt some kids if she wants kids around her again.. and then nobody can tell her what to do.. Problem solved.
Oct 2nd, 2007
Mr. Poop
Imma fart in dat hoe’s mouf.
Oct 2nd, 2007
open mouth jones
I admit it. I’m intrigued. Mr. Poop, please clarify. What on god’s green earth is a mouf? And should we all fart in there, too?
Oct 2nd, 2007
Moreaces
She is now celebrating, CELEBRATING. Anyone can see she clearly does not want the kids, She could not get them to Kevin fast enough. Worse Mother ever!!!
BTW BarbadoSlim=hilarious
Oct 2nd, 2007
scarpetta
I, for one am so relieved that KSperm will be raising his sons. I heard he has already taught them to smoke cubans and slug ripple. Mommy has already taught them to drive erratically, drink the hard stuff and suck on morphine while she walked around nekkid smoking pot. Makes you feel warm and snuggly, doesn’t it?
Oct 2nd, 2007
RichPort
Isn’t it a shame when you’re at your most fuckable at 17?
Oct 3rd, 2007
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