Oct 2, 2007

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty Had “Mind-Blowing” Sex

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Wanna know why Kate Moss and Pete Doherty kept getting back together? Was it their mutual distaste for hygiene? Symbiotic drug addictions? Nope, not according to close personal friend Shane MacGowan. It was the “mind-blowing sex.” I’ll pause so you can shudder and make gagging noises. According to The Mirror

Shane, 49, [said]: “They were perfect for each other. Totally nuts about each other. They were one of those couples that would argue loads but when they got back together they would have mind-blowing sex.”

Well, just about anything seems “mind-blowing” when you’re stoned. I once spent an hour high as a kite staring at the little rainbow the backside of a CD makes when it refracts light. An hour. This other time I tried to pay for a bottle of orange juice after three hits of acid, and I might as well have been trying to attempt nuclear physics right there at the gas station counter. I ended up just thrusting a five dollar bill at the attendant and sprinting the hell out of there. So armed with this personal experience, my gut says that this “mind-blowing sex” actually translated to “three or four attempts at stuffing his mostly-flaccid penis in Kate’s hole before they both passed out and/or threw up.” Not exactly the stuff you see in pornos, you know. Not the good ones, anyway.

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7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. open mouth jones

    You know how much I hate to admit I have anything in common with a bunch of crack heads, but… but after a drunken night, my b-f wasn’t quite up to form, and none of my usual tricks were working, so it really just came down to: ‘three or four attempts at stuffing his mostly-flaccid penis into’ my ‘hole’.
    Thanks for the flashback abby.
    Just what the doctor ordered.

    Oct 2nd, 2007

  2. Dragulf

    Only a .45 could have done it better.

    Oct 2nd, 2007

  3. abby

    Yeah, I’ve been on the receiving end of the “soggy wiener stuff,” and I think everyone was a little embarrassed.

    Oct 2nd, 2007

  4. Rodrigo Ferrari

    jajajaj great post!!!

    Oct 2nd, 2007

  5. scarpetta

    Mind blowing sex! So that’s where their brains went Now it’s perfectly clear, they are both flaccid dicks.

    Oct 2nd, 2007

  6. RichPort

    I’ve been accused of having my brain in my pants so, technically, everytime I get head, it’s mind blowing…

    (crickets)

    Oct 3rd, 2007

  7. Sprmcandy

    Good one.

    Aug 26th, 2008

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