Britney Spears Sex Tape?
Tags: Britney Spears, sex tape
Nothing caps off the triumphant loss of your children like video footage of you with a stanger’s penis in your mouth. Just ask Britney Spears! London’s The Sun reports
The man in question says he met [Britney] on holiday in June and taped their alleged night of lust in her hotel room. However, according to the unnamed man, the romp was a bit of a damp squib. He told a US magazine: “It was just normal sex, we didn’t do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.”
So far, the only thing holding him back from releasing the video is [his own disappointment in his] performance; he is [too] embarrassed to let the rest of the world see it!
I supposed video footage of a drunken one-night stand could be worse. It could be a tape of Britney Spears, say, clubbing defenseless baby seals or dressed like a Nazi and setting Jews on fire. Or burping uncontrollably and rambling on about time travel. Boy, would that ever be embarrassing! She should thank her lucky stars something like that never made it onto the net. How could you ever take her seriously then?
More of Britney leaving the DMV on Monday after the jump
22 Comments, Comment or Ping
scarpetta
Miss Piggy sure do love showing off her hamhocks
Oct 3rd, 2007
RichPort
Anyone know the name of a good psychiatrist? I still kinda wanna bite her thighs.
Oct 3rd, 2007
scarpetta
Dr. Melfi
Oct 3rd, 2007
RichPort
We see how that stopped Tony from whacking fools… I see Brit has my dental outlines in her future…
Oct 3rd, 2007
spatz
uhhh gross.
Oct 3rd, 2007
abby
I think it would go a lot like that “mind-blowing” Pete Doherty/Kate Moss sex from yesterday. “No, no, that’s wrong fuckin’ hole! Ow! The left! To the — zzzzzz *vomits, chokes* zzzzz
Oct 3rd, 2007
open mouth jones
We have ducks that live in the parking lot at work. They have no compunction what-so-ever about getting it on any old time of the day, no matter who’s watching.
Somehow I think watching the ducks have at it would be much more interesting than watching Britney flopping around and some random dudes half flaccid penis trying desperately to enter the circus tent that is Brit’s vajayjay.
Even though there is a chance of seeing Dumbo poke his head out of Britney crotch, I still don’t think that is enough enticement to sit through ‘One Night in Britney’.
Oct 3rd, 2007
RichPort
I agree with Jones. If it ain’t no DP with Rocco and Mandingo, AND Peter North on the facial, I ain’t watching. Period.
Oct 3rd, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Two bottles of Viagra extra-strength, a liter of the local liquor store’s best cheap vodka, a smear of three-day old tuna under the nose, a snorkel, and an unfiltered Lucky Strike and I will be ready for my money shot with Britney.
Now does someone have the video camera ready and a pair of gardening shears for when I am done.
Oct 3rd, 2007
bionic bunny
3 day old tuna would be redundant, otto.
Oct 3rd, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
it may be redundant, but it would smell better than what you would get going down– in fact, next time she is scraped for a pap smear, the residue could be used by terrorists as a weapon of mass destruction in their chemical warfare campaign.
calling jack bower, we have a new bio threat in LA — tic…tic… tic…
Oct 3rd, 2007
open mouth jones
Otto. Please stop. Please. Oh god.
Oct 3rd, 2007
marius
mr.otto is crazy
Oct 4th, 2007
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
GOD, please make her stop wearing old pillowcases!!
Oct 4th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Thank you Mariass, but the politically correct term on this site would be snarky. As in… maybe Abby needs to post a disclaimer that a dry-witted sense of sarcastic humor is required in order to be allowed on this playground. Toughen up wimpy, before I start taking your lunch money and spend it on Brit-Brit’s new porn tape and a bag of stale cheetos with a Red Bull chaser.
Oct 4th, 2007
Lori
Damn. She gets uglier every day. Nice shirt, you skanky douchebag.
Oct 4th, 2007
sammy
More sex tape footage here!!
http://rapidshare.com/files/61880015/britney.rar
Lol!, thats just wrong!
Oct 11th, 2007
rockymountainbehl
so i would truely like to ask every mother out there to get off their high horse & remember that britney spears is NO diierent than most first time mothers. if you were to record every moment of ALL mothers out there you’d have more than a few millions mistakes by everyone. EVERYONE makes mistakes & yes the poor girl needs help with learning how the care for her kids, but WHO DOESN”T. HAS only one stopped to watch the father in all this mess!?!? the britney i remember was never into any of the bullshit lifestyle that she carries on with now. i’d say 50% of all this a total character smear. may-be everyone should spend more time worrying about MR.GEORGE BUSH & the deep dark hole he is digging for country to die in!!!!!! but i guess thats alot of anyone…… when you could just kepp doing the same ol’ perverse pessimist crap !-)
Nov 14th, 2007
THESEISWRONGINSOMANYWAYS
These is really interesting what would it take in oder for people to fuck Britney. Well for me give me a gallon of Jose Cuervo (NASTY!!!!!!!!) i want to be drunk as can be also 4 straight days of no sleep (i really want to be out my sences). 1 year of no sex (i want to be desperate), one bottle of viagra and levitra never mind make it 2 of each just in case we are talking about Britney the one with the cottage cheese ass and an 8 ball i want to be wired and numb i dont want to feal a thing. After all that if i havent passed out or overdosed or killed myself and theirs a camera around Britney beware…. HAHAHAHA
Dec 14th, 2007
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Jan 2nd, 2008
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Jan 2nd, 2008
wowman
From what i have seen all the tapes are listed at the site below. I am pretty impressed these tapes have been released so fast.
http://www.officialsextapes.com/female-tapes.php
More footage.
Apr 7th, 2008
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