Pam Anderson’s Fairy Tale Wedding
Tags: Pamela Anderson, Rick Salomon
Listen up, brides-to-be: a couple of wedding planning tips you won’t find in a Martha Stewart magazine. From the NY Daily News
Welcome to holy matrimony, Pam Anderson-style. The bride wore a white denim miniskirt and the wedding cake was made of cardboard. Wedding planners had to bring in a fake wedding cake because they were given only one-day’s notice. The 40 guests enjoyed pigs in a blanket, macaroni and cheese, and tuna and lobster tacos.
Anderson announced [her and Salomon's] union on her blog: “The Adventures of Scum and Pam Have Begun.”
If you want to class up your nuptials, take a page from Pammy here and have the guests toss condoms at you instead of rice. Serve Pabst Blue Ribbon in a can instead of champagne. Let the wedding party do their keg stands first. Park your Harley under the fishing pier. Bring enough meth for everyone. Make sure your pasties match your crotchless panties. Pull off the bride’s garter with your teeth. And don’t forget about graveside flower arrangements! They make great centerpieces, and they don’t cost you a fucking dime.
P.S. Tuna taco and pigs in a blanket? Jesus. It’s just begging a Michael Scott “That’s what she said.”
More from the wedding of the decade after the jump
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
scarpetta
And they lived skankily ever after…at least a few weeks till the attorneys file the papers
Oct 9th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Awwwww dreams CAN come true, just imagine this on that snooty HGTV channel wedding show: the Strip-joint locale, the midgets, the raging case of hepatitis on the bride, guests with all sorts of exotic venereal diseases, Pam walking down aisle to an instrumental rendition of Me So Horny (re-mixed by Timbaland, natch’) the infected bride and soon to be infected groom getting pelted with Valtrex.
*wipes tear*
Oct 9th, 2007
Sorceressss
Hey-compared to her LAST wedding, this is a total step up. I mean, she was married in a bikini last time.
Oct 9th, 2007
abby
No mention of the puke picture? Now I’m heartbroken.
Oct 9th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
AWESOME puke picture Abbs…..awesome…to the max.
Oct 9th, 2007
Sorceressss
Sorry Abby, I was trying to forget I saw it, it was a bit early in the morning for that.
Baaaaaaaarrrrrrffffffff
But just like you, it was pretty brilliant!!!
Oct 9th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
You forgot to report that Brit-Brit was the maid of dishonor and the happy couple will be honeymooning in beautiful Palmdale, in order to be closer to the source of their meth, while staying at The Last Sunset Trailer Park in Lancaster. Brit-Brit offered the newlyweds her double-wide, but they opted to splurge with the extra money collected from the recycled PBR cans from the wedding reception and they will be staying in the Honeymoon Plaza, a confy triple-wide trailer, which includes a hose ran in from the ourtside well, to provide a jacuzzi like setting in their tub. All the details and pictures of the wedding were sold to the tab Redneck Dream Weddings and will be the cover and main story in its November issue.
Oct 9th, 2007
abby
Thank you. My faith in myself is now restored.
Oct 9th, 2007
bionic bunny
okay, otto, now you’re beginning to scare me…
thank god i’m LEAVING palmdale for the week!
please tell me you don’t know the area as well as i do!
Oct 9th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Unfortunately, BB, my bus has passed through that area a few times, when I have left the confines of the Valley.
Oct 10th, 2007
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