Oct 10, 2007

Britney Spears Passes Drug Test

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According to Us Weekly, Britney Spears passed her first ever drug test yesterday. Well, technically, it should have been her third or fourth drug test, but this is the first one she’s bothered to show up to take. Can you smell the responsibility? Can you? Luckily, the NY Daily News manages to eliminate the stink of moral obligation and filial duty:

OK! magazine has a highly detailed story of [Britney] partying at Peninsula Hotel just hours after having her children taken away. She supposedly was nonplussed about Kevin Federline getting child custody. A source claims that “when the subject of her boys’ custody came up, one of the girls told Britney, “Don’t worry, you’ll get your kids back.’ Britney replied: ‘I don’t give a [shit] anymore. I never wanted them in the first place.’” She allegedly partied until 3 a.m. the night before she had a 10 a.m. visitation from her children, which she missed.

And with a mansion in Beverly Hills, what’s she doing in hotels anyway? Star mag claims that’s where she met her drug dealer, whom it identifies as a petite brunette.

Plus, I hear they have a lot of buffets in hotels. Also vending machines full of M&Ms and Funions. Ooh, and strangers you can possibly videotape yourself fucking. Did I mention the buffets? And the penises? Penises aplenty in your average hotel. Penises and all-you-can-eat brunches and a minimum-wage housekeeper to quash that feeling of self-loathing you get when you have to unclog your own toilet for the third time in one day. I think the real question is why wouldn’t she be there?

More of Britney showing her grainy LQ NSFW beaver yesterday after the jump

7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. RichPort

    So who’s more pathetic… Britney or the papsmear with the look of extreme glee in the yellow t shirt? I will say, however, that he couldn’t have chosen a better t shirt for the occassion, than one that says “Beaver”.

    Oct 10th, 2007

  2. open mouth jones

    I would pay good money to see Britney pass a Taco Bell without going inside. Screw the drug test.

    Oct 10th, 2007

  3. abby

    I would also pay good money to watch her eat a taco in slow motion. That would be fucking hilarious.

    Oct 10th, 2007

  4. open mouth jones

    I think that’s considered illegal in some states.

    Oct 10th, 2007

  5. Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver

    Not here in California, where there is a fetish market for everything Brit-Brit and beyond.

    Oct 10th, 2007

  6. Dong Callanan

    Britney Spears Full Home-made hot video i found here:
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    U have to see it,really hot video!!!

    Oct 5th, 2009

  7. Francesco Merkowitz

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    Oct 12th, 2009

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