Lindsay Lohan is Moving to Utah

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It looks like Lindsay Lohan will be moving to The Beehive State after all. According to People magazine

Michael Lohan expects [Lindsay] to come back to Utah to live, receive continued counseling and attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. “It looks like she may have already found a house,” he said, noting that she currently stays in a rental near the lodge.

Or it could be that L.A. is out of her price range now that she’s broke. News of the World claims

In recent months the wayward actress has squandered a staggering SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS on her wild partying, and now she can’t afford her own place. She lived for most of last year in Hollywood’s opulent Chateau Marmont hotel, spending $450,000 on her $1,200-a-night suite, as well as another £500,000 having chauffeurs on 24-hour standby. Another $350,000 has gone on luxury Mercedes and BMWs, followed by huge bills for expensive lawyers to defend her on drink-driving and drugs charges. She spent $1MILLION on clothes, $70,000 on tanning and hair-styling and well over $500,000 on partying. All this resulted in three separate spells in rehab—racking up bills of $30,000, $45,000 and $62,000 for each stint.

Sure, diversifying your portfolio and contributing to your 401k might be fiscally sound, but it’s also lame with a capital L. Can you snort dividends? No. You can’t. And mutual funds don’t exactly give you that sun-kissed glow or make your tits any bigger. That’s why packing your nostrils full of cocaine and going clubbing five nights a week is much better idea. You might be debt-free and on a boat when you’re fifty, but I’ll have way cooler memories of getting fucked up and having sex in the bathroom of the Bungalow 8 with some guys whose names I can’t remember but whose diseases I’ll have forever. You can’t put a price tag on memories like those, folks. That’s what the good people at Mastercard keep telling me, anyway.

More of Lindsay and shopping with her douchebag boyfriend after the jump. WuTang forever!

10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver

    Sounds like a new commercial Abbs,,,

    A vintage rock t-shirt from a band that looks cool, but have never heard before….. $75

    A new ranch house, 6 bd, 4 ba, four car garage, 5 avres with lake view and a mile from rehab in Utah…. $350,000

    A loving father…. 15-percent commission

    Another loser boyfriend with money and a collection of lifetime diseases…. priceless

    Get everything you want and more without paying the price. Get the newest Hollyweird accessory called the Celebutcard from Mastercard. Act now and Mastercard will charge no interest on your first bail charge from any certified police station.

  2. Gingely

    You know, she can’t really be herself in Utah. Who’s she gonna flash? A farmer? No, she’ll be back.

  3. abby

    LOL, Otto

  4. marius

    stupid comment mr.otto

  5. Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver

    Hey Mariass, go be a buzz kill on TMZ its more your speed.

  6. scarpetta

    Lindsay who?

  7. marius

    hey otto,shut up.

  8. James

    if she feels comfortable here..then leave her a lone. Utah will be the next hollywood….Good bye L.A.!!!!!!!!!hahaha

  9. ang

    so what if she is happy leave her alone i think that thats what everyone needs to do with every celeb. we give em to much attention so they act on it just leave the poor people alone and get a life

  10. Alphonse Minchey

    Lindsay Lohan private Sex Tape online and free

    http://lindsay-lohan-hot-sex.blogspot.com/?id=80780624&s=y

    Get it Now!!!

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