Britney Spears Has Eye Gonorrhea
Tags: Britney Spears
Britney Spears isn’t wearing sunglasses at night because she’s an idiot douchebag; she’s wearing them because she has good ol’ crusty case of the pink eye. According to Female First
Ex-husband Kevin Federline wore an eye-patch to cover his eye infection earlier this month, and now the singer has come down with the same ailment. She told paparazzi Monday night that she was wearing dark glasses to cover up her bad eye, [which is why] she insisted on keeping sunglasses on as she addressed the Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner who is overseeing her child custody battle. Spears has since been spotted out at night in Hollywood wearing her dark glasses; she was wearing a pair when she reversed into a paparazzi’s car while parking outside a Hollywood party on Saturday.
Pink eye doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Well, that because you didn’t know this:
Pink eye is a form of conjunctivitis caused by the same types of bacteria that cause the sexually transmitted diseases chlamydia and gonorrhea.
That’s right. She’s got eye gonorrhea. Just add that to her list of other ailments and disgusting maladies, like ass cabbage and baldness and scabies and whatever the hell else is wrong with her now. On, the plus side, it shouldn’t be too hard to keep her eye from getting on your wiener. I think the only thing your average guy would even want near her genitals anymore is a baseball bat or maybe a shovel. Something to beat it back into submission without having to worry that you might get some on you. Also napalm, but it’s really hard to order that stuff online with out the police showing up at your door with a warrant. Thanks, Vietnam! You guys ruin everything fun.
More ocular chlamydia after the jump
15 Comments, Comment or Ping
scarpetta
I guess that explains why she she looks like she dressed in the dark
Oct 17th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Ugh, Cheeto, Newport and Fanta breath…..sexy…
Oct 17th, 2007
abby
And why she keeps falling down. Still doesn’t explain that face she keeps making.
Oct 17th, 2007
Gweilo
Britney likes Fanta. It has “fan” in it. Reminds her of that time she was popular.
Oct 17th, 2007
Gingely
Wow, Brit blames conjunctivitis for the dried jizz on her eye. And I suppose Paris Hilton caught pneumophilinosis in her dirty, dirty vag.
Oct 17th, 2007
RichPort
I blame genetics for my enormous johnson.
Oct 17th, 2007
Ace
How does a grown woman contract pink eye? Also, the sixties called. They want their clothes back.
Oct 17th, 2007
aubrey
Gweilo-that was funny.
I actually like that outfit.
She keeps falling because she obviously has some type of alcohol in that Fanta. I bet Pepsi will still take her back if she ever has another tour that they can sponsor.
Doesn’t she look like Katie Holmes in the first pic?
Why does she look so much better with sunglasses covering most of her face?
Oct 17th, 2007
open mouth jones
It could also be called the stink eye- as pink eye can also be caused by miniscule particles of poo that have ’some how’ gotten lodged in the eye.
Oct 18th, 2007
Kayla
She may be falling down due to stress. The paps harass her 24/7. The media magnifies her every flaw. When I was that young I could have never withstood the pressure she is and keeps going thru. I feel for her, pray for her and wish everybody would find someone new to pick on. Hey, Lindsey is back, you need to get on it! She is the biggest whore around! she is the biggest druggie, liar fake in town. Go for it vultures!
Oct 18th, 2007
Amy
Brit Brit just got herself a free pallet of Fanta.
Smart girl.
Oct 18th, 2007
DeathNote
cool
Oct 19th, 2007
aubrey
Kayla, are you for real? Britney Spears courts photographers and is just as big of a liar, whore, and druggie as Lindsey. Honestly, when Britney stops being such a publicity whore, I will quit talking crap about her. But, we both know that ain’t happening anytime soon-so deal with it.
Oct 23rd, 2007
ash
just because britney has pink eye doesnt mean its from an std.
getting pink eye from ghon/clam is EXTREMELY rare.
she couldve just gotten it from dirt getting into her eye and causing an infection.
people are crazy!
i swear i dont even like her, but claiming that she has an std in her eye is absolutely ridiculous.
May 24th, 2008
Dap
Everyone knows its a joke.
Sep 18th, 2008
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