Britney Spears Hates Her Judge
Tags: Britney Spears
Britney Spears lumbered into a Beverly Hills Neiman Marcus last week to soil expensive clothing with fat girl sweat and chunks of deodorant while bitching loudly about the judge assigned to her custody case. Us Weekly reports
First the pop star commandeered a [handicapped] dressing room to try on a slew of Juicy Couture dresses. Then, after belting out Rihanna’s “Umbrella,” Spears told her assistant she wanted her dog. Learning the Yorkie was in Malibu, 27 miles away, she said, “[Fuck] that. That will take us an hour to drive there. Can’t we have the dog messengered over?”
But Spears — within earshot of an Us reporter and other shoppers — saved her choicest words for the judge in her custody battle, L.A. County commissioner Scott M. Gordon, whose court she had just departed after a 45-minute face-off. “I hate my judge,” Spears declared. “He is so mean. Just an old fart. He told me I was being catty with him, but he was being catty with me and paid me no respect at all. His job is to sit there and tell people what to do. And that’s just so sad, because he gets off on it.”
And then she stepped out to observe herself in a three-way mirror, using her teeth to pull off a big hunk of meat from the drumstick in her hand, and demanded to know why “all them zippers on them fuckin’ Joozy dresses don’t work for shit. Like see here?” she continued, using the chicken bone as a pointer stick to direct attention to the bent metal teeth. “Ev’ry last wanna them zippers done busted open. It’s all crap.” Then she raised her left leg and farted, took a drag off the smoke in her other hand, and belched “Fuck this popsicle stand! Who’s feelin’ some Taco Bell? Mex-i-Melt! Mex-i-Melt!” and then flung her chicken bone into the open dressing room and farted again. Really, it’s almost like Grace Kelly has magically returned to life or something. Just plain eerie.
More of Brit in her “Fuck You Loverboy” jacket after the jump
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
Q
How can you hold such a personal grudge against such a great 80s band?
Oct 18th, 2007
scarpetta
Does Juicy make a straightjacket? Plush velour of course
Oct 18th, 2007
spatz
abby youre a fuckin poet.
and PS how can somebody manage to look so cheap with expensive clothing on? she looks like she shops exclusivley at the 99 cent store and walmart.
Oct 18th, 2007
open mouth jones
She prefers Target and gas stations.
Oct 18th, 2007
abby
Thank you. It’s a calling; it’s a gift.
Oct 18th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
When did Beverly Hills start allowing it members, I mean homeowners to have garage sales? Real white trash likee Brit-Brit don’t waste their time at the 99 cent store for Walmart, when it is cheaper to get it on sale at the Goodwill Store. Also, I have a delivery for Mz. Spearz– a stiff and greasy Malibu Yorkie covered in cigarette ash and nacho cheeze sauce, with a letter stating it is on the Moms and Mutts hit list for reposession.
Oct 18th, 2007
Gweilo
“FUCK OFF LOVER BOY”??? LOLZ!!! ROFLMAO!!! Oh Britney, you’re the bomb!
Feel free to FUCK OFF and die now. I’M GWEILO, BITCH!!!
Oct 18th, 2007
IGetIt
Holy Fuck, that’s funny!
Oct 18th, 2007
Dorothy
OMG!! Look at that HORRIBLE weave….YIKES..if I looked that horrible, I wouldn’t ever leave the fucking house!! I’d put a bag over my head before I would ever be seen looking like Britney looks every day!!
She is so amazingly STUPID!!
Her problem is that she has the mentality of a 6 year old. She craves attention, even negative attention…she can’t dress herself – wears her clothes 2 sizes to small – forgets to wear her underwear at times.
I swear sometimes I think she is just mentally retarded!!
Oct 20th, 2007
Avrielle
Dorothy is right!! SHE IS WEARING THAT “Fuck you Loverboy” jacket BACKWARDS!
Britney shouldn’t have gotten that collagen in her lips…instead she should have gone to the Wizard of OZ for a new BRAIN!!
Oct 20th, 2007
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