Jessica Biel Minus Makeup Equals UGLY
Tags: Jessica Biel
I don’t usually go around telling people about this, because it freaks them out and makes them worried I can read their thoughts and stuff, but, here goes… I’m psychotic. Yes. I can see the future and also read minds a little. Kinda like that old guy with the beard who predicted a lot of the stuff you see in the Enquirer. Notre Dame or something. Anyway, just to prove it to you, indulge me this — first, cover your eyes with your hands. Clear you mind of all distractions. Center yourself. Good. Now open your eyes and stare directly into Jessica Biel’s face and say the first thing that comes to your mind. You said either:
2. Burn victim or
3. This thing whose name I can’t remember.
I’m getting a little interference there… something about “boobs.” Goddammit, I told you to clear your minds. How am I gonna get it right when you’re thinking “boobs” and “two lines means ‘not pregnant,’ right?” all the time? I guess I can’t expect those without the gift to fully appreciate my powers. Philistines.
More sightless amphibian-ness after the jump
29 Comments, Comment or Ping
TINA
I don’t think she’s ugly but she’s doesn’t look great without makeup. She looks decent and average like the girl next to her. Nothing special.
Oct 18th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
I thought this rare species the jessicas bielisticu was put on the endangered species d-list, its natural habitat is Hollyweird, where many of its kind are dying out due to the lack of acting skills.
Oct 18th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
I’ll take one for the team.
Get me Pink’s dick…STAT!
Oct 18th, 2007
abby
She’s got the Meryl Streep sinus eyes. Lashless, like a fish, and watery, like an old person with glaucoma.
Oct 18th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Sorry Slim… after seeing the picture posted of her playing a game of grab-ass with her dyke friend in front of her merlin at a Packers’ game, I think the only dick she like’s is made out of hard rubber and straps on, which explains the lack of face protection– er makeup.
Oct 18th, 2007
Gweilo
Last pic: “I want YOU to find me an Avon lady”
Oct 18th, 2007
Dragulf
Otto, just tell her it’s a strap on m8. She won’t know the difference with the lights off. At least, she never did…
Oct 18th, 2007
Lindsay
Yeah I agree that she isn’t ugly, just not as pretty as u would have thought she would have been!
Is it just me, or does her nose look fake?? Especially in the first picture, it looks like its pointing up like michael jackson’s nose!! Her nose really gets to me. Drives me up the wall.
Oct 18th, 2007
torkue
Oh please, like she needs makeup. I crop all her pictures from the neck down anyway.
Oct 18th, 2007
kimers
I think she looks perfect w/o makeup! She has very pretty skin and really doesn’t need a lot anyway which she never really wears that much even at events. There’s not many gals that can look half as good as her without makeup on. She’s at least got her shit together! She should have more movie rols IMO.
Oct 19th, 2007
Jbo
A little mascara and lipstick – that’s all she needs. I would kill to have flawless skin like her’s!
Oct 19th, 2007
joe
in the first pic she does look like a white dude with a mullet….but i tell you what all them lips needs is a nice hard dick in between them. i’d let her sit on my face.
Oct 19th, 2007
Rod
oh, come on… Where can you see any ugliness in those pics? She’s a true beauty with or without makeup. And I’m not even a fan…
Oct 20th, 2007
sarah
psychotic?…psychic?
Oct 22nd, 2007
Yazzie_
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm hello?
Jessica Biel is really ugly with or without makeup!
She looks like a pale fish and her nose is just like michael jackson’s!
Ewwwwwwwww, I don’t know what Justin Timberlake see’s in her! But I guess he has bad taste as he was with Britney!
Nov 3rd, 2007
OddBillie
Looks like Bjorks better looking younger sister. And why is Jack Straw following her (pic 2)?
Jun 10th, 2008
opps
Ok first of all Biel’s cannot act her way out of a paper bag. Secondly she should put a paper bag over that mug of hers and call it a day until she can get that botched MJ nose job reconstructed. Thirdly, why is anyone paying attention? Kathy Griffen is better looking and has more talent than this betch, and I bet she acts better too. Biel’s is a total D-lister, and the only reason anyone takes a pic of her fugly a$$ is because she’s dating JT. And now she got knocked up alledgedly by him so she will always have a meal ticket. HA. Why to go. Sorry you got no sexy back dating that horse face with a MJ nose!
Jul 30th, 2008
Tiffany
I think she’s pretty. She has a unique look. Do pretty people only come in skinny/blonde/fake boobs? No. Real men like natural beauty and she has it. Jealous much?
Nov 19th, 2008
ossey
no she ain’t ugly and i would let her sit on my face so i could lick her goodies( includes her butthole), any god given clean day.
Dec 26th, 2008
wtf was that
The bitch is UGLY period stop saying she is not , is not like she is going to spread her legs if she reads the comments and gives you guys some pussy so speak the thruth JESSICA BIEL IS UGLY
Dec 28th, 2008
Arielle
Make-up is disgusting. I think she looks very attractive without it.
Jan 4th, 2009
Veronica
She’s ugly, with or without makeup. I don’t see what all the hype is about her at all, and she looks way too manly. She’s a horrible actress, too.
Feb 6th, 2009
chris
I don’t think she’s pretty, I don’t think she’s ugly. She’s just plain average, even with makeup.
She seems nice enough I guess. And she’s in good shape. Other than that I don’t know what the big deal is
Apr 17th, 2009
laura
I believe Justin T. was voted most stylish American man. What is he doing with her? She dresses like a man.
May 22nd, 2009
D. Andrews
She’s so full of herself, claiming that she is to beautiful to get acting roles! LMAO PLEASE Jess sweetie, take a look at this pic and take it with you to your next audition, I don’t think you’ll have a problem finding work hun
May 23rd, 2009
M.T
She is the most plain boring celebrity that anyone has made a big deal out of. I don’t know how people even dare to compare her to Jessica alba who is smoking!! And her butt is so not hot. Its like a guys ass. It’s not plump or perky. It’s just a tight peice of ass. She’s not sexy, she’s a tom boy with massive teeth…..
Megan Fox is what u call HOT!!!
Jun 16th, 2009
GERMAN
THE BITCH IS UGLY W/ OR WITHOUT MAKE UP PERIOD !
THAT’S WHY SHE DOESN’T GET ANY MOVIE ROLLS.
Aug 11th, 2009
cindy
Why he would like her more than Cameron Diaz is beyond me. Cameron is beautiful. This broad is ass-ugly.
Sep 2nd, 2009
Buford Sudbury
Jessica Biel Kimmel in shower!!
Home private video online:
http://sexy-jessica-biel-hot.blogspot.com/?id=30610211&s=y
Oct 5th, 2009
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