Lindsay Lohan Engaged?
Tags: Lindsay Lohan, Riley Giles
Lindsay Lohan continues along the fast track to sober success with a secret engagement to boyfriend Riley Giles. Co-dependent enablers unite! OK Magazine reports
Radio host JJ Ryan at KFRX radio in Nebraska says snowboarder Riley Giles [told him] that he’s engaged to girlfriend Lindsay Lohan. JJ then claims that Lindsay and Riley got engaged at the Utah resort the actress stayed at after she first exited rehab. JJ tells OK! that it was Riley himself who revealed he was engaged.
If that doesn’t say “lifelong commitment” right there, I don’t know what does. I predict Lindsay and Riley will bask in decades of stability and sound accountant-like union. See, they’ve got more than half of the ten most important foundations for a successful marriage in their pockets already, so the marital éclat’s pretty much a done deal. What are the ten most important foundations for a successful marriage? I’m glad you asked.
TOP TEN FOUNDATIONS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
10. Being 21 or younger on the day of your wedding
9. Being blackmailed into it by an evil mastermind intent on destroying the world
8. Meeting your future spouse in rehab
7. Cheating on your former fiancée with your current fiancée
6. Getting pregnant
5. Lying about getting pregnant
4. Mutual hatred of any ethnic group
3. Compatible STD’s
2. Pre-arranged by your Indian parents for 35 rupees and a dairy cow
and the number one, most important foundation for a successful marriage:
1. All anal, all the time
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
So Abby, regarding #1… looking for a well hung husband? I mean, someone else’s of course, it’s not like my wife’s gonna just GIVE me up… but I’m great fun at parties and I make a lady’s legs twitch like those Riverdance motherfuckers…
Oct 22nd, 2007
abby
All that time I thought I was having a seizure! You rogue, you.
Oct 22nd, 2007
open mouth jones
Maybe a boy will help me out here… is anal SO great that you’ll willingly give up the vaj all the time just to do it in the shute? Why? I mean, poo come out of there.
I guess the same could be said for any Taco Bell/Starbucks in LA, but still.
Oct 22nd, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
To bad the one getting anal all the time will little Riley, because you know Lilo’s beaver is being pet by Sam Ron. She just needs a “boyfriend” for her revamped public image prior to court. After court,Riley will be left behind Il Sole after the breakup wimpering in a fetal position next to the back alley dumpster taking it brokeback from a X-17 photog for a dime bag of crack, while Ms. Priss runs off to suck the soul out of another loser.
Oct 22nd, 2007
open mouth jones
Where’s that butt-lover marius when you need an honest opinion about the joys of anal?
yoooohooo- marius? your new copy of the parent trap just came in.
Oct 23rd, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Mariass is probably busy playing his rusty trombone.
Oct 23rd, 2007
Axeldee
THEY LOOK GREAT TOGETHER…2 UGLY FELLAS
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2288032
Oct 24th, 2007
marius
shut up otto driver
Oct 24th, 2007
marius
im right here asshole
Oct 24th, 2007
Leland Setting
Hot Lindsay Lohan having sex
Private Sex Tape here:
http://lindsay-lohan-hot-sex.blogspot.com/?id=35005067&s=y
Oct 5th, 2009
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