Oct 25, 2007

Britney and Kevin, Together Again

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britney_spears_bikini_8.jpg

Britney and K-Fed attended their first court-ordered class at the Beverly Hills Hotel yesterday morning. People magazine says

The Parenting Without Conflict program… teaches cooperative parenting and communication skills. Part of the program is doing drills called “polite requests.” “Instead of saying ‘You’re always bringing the kids home late because you’re an insensitive jerk,’” explains a supervisor for the program, “We teach parents instead to say ‘When you bring the kids home late, I feel like you’re not valuing my time, and I feel hurt or angry as a result.”

TMZ adds

Sources say Britney was actually looking forward to discussing parenting with her ex — however, after arriving at the location, Brit was distraught and seen bawling like a baby in the bathroom. It’s only the third time Brit and K-Fed have been in the same room since they separated.

I guess it’s hard to make “shut your fuckin’ legs, bitch — I can’t breathe!” and “I hate you and wish you were dead” a polite request. Hard, but not impossible. All Kevin had to do is adopt less accusatory phrasing and add a “please” or “could I trouble you to…” to his entreaty. Voila! — polite. That also works great in public settings with people you don’t know. For example, let’s say the waiter brings you a regular beer instead of a light. Make direct eye contact, smile, speak from your diaphragm and say, “I see here that you brought me a regular Corona. While I appreciate the gesture, I ordered a Corona Light.” Or maybe some guy lights up next to your asthmatic child at the park. Once again speaking from the diaphragm, annunciate clearly and say, “Hey, faggot! If you don’t put out that cigarette in the next ten seconds, I’m going to stab your mom and your sister the throat with this rusty kitchen knife because I know where they fucking live. Thanks.” Follow that up with a firm handshake and a sincere smile and enjoy the ensuing social pleasantry wherever you go!

More of Britney’s imaginary dance-off

britney_spears_bikini_7.jpgbritney_spears_bikini_6.jpgbritney_spears_bikini_5.jpgbritney_spears_bikini_2.jpgbritney_spears_bikini_11.jpg

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12 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. BarbadoSlimNo Gravatar

    “Sources say Britney was actually looking forward to discussing parenting with her ex…”

    Translation: She’s giving him a blowjob.

    Oct 25th, 2007

  2. abbyNo Gravatar

    Wait — isn’t “discussion” code for “anal sex?” We may have gotten our wires crossed, Slim.

    Oct 25th, 2007

  3. CelebretardNo Gravatar

    Trying to those to communicate should be interesting to watch. Britney’s FriendSpaceBook profile is funny. http://www.friendspacebook.com/Unfitney

    Oct 25th, 2007

  4. FuzzLoverNo Gravatar

    Hey y’all, PLEASE STOP posting pix of this discusting has-been blown-out “star”! Haven’t we all had enough of this deflated idiot? Lets have some pix of some hot chix like Jessica Alba or REESE WITHERSPOON in a BIKINI!
    Until then….KEEP IT FUZZY GIRLS!
    Fuzzlover

    Oct 25th, 2007

  5. open mouth jonesNo Gravatar

    it put’s the fucking lotion on it’s skin or else it get’s the HOSE again.

    Oct 25th, 2007

  6. BarbadoSlimNo Gravatar

    Abbs: You must be using an older code, in the code I’m using presently “Hi how are you” is the the ok for immediate anal penetration of the petitioner.

    Example:

    Nondescript female with big tits: Hi, how are you, Slim?

    BarbadoSlim: Bend over

    Oct 25th, 2007

  7. ButchNo Gravatar

    oh mama. You fat little nasty girl. I would untie the sides of your swimsuit but the string is imbedded in your hip fat.

    Oct 25th, 2007

  8. Italian StallionNo Gravatar

    Nice cross. This bitch can’t even spell Jesus……….

    Oct 25th, 2007

  9. LOLNo Gravatar

    I hope K_dick and Britsnatch get back together again share a crack pipe screw each other brains out right before they both freakin OD…

    Reporting on them in the frequency that you are is freakin ridiculas..They are losers. Who cares??????? Honestly…Who cares? Only the retarded or people with no clue care honestly!!! I am in awe at the stupidity of this site and many others. Wow just saw Brit on TV as I am typing….LMAO WTF is wrong with america….

    Oct 25th, 2007

  10. AxeldeeNo Gravatar

    I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

    http://www.spymac.com/details/?2288032

    Oct 26th, 2007

  11. AvrielleNo Gravatar

    THAT’S NOT A CROSS SHE’S WEARING, ..IT’S A SWORD.

    SHE HAS GOTTEN SUPER CHUNKY.
    ALL THOSE TRIPS TO STARBUCKS, THE TACO PLACE AND THE IN & OUT BURGER AREN’T DOING HER ANY FAVORS AT ALL!!

    Oct 27th, 2007

  12. volkswagen passat tehnicheskaya harakteristikaNo Gravatar

    oficialnyy diler volkswagen volkswagen diler moskva volkswagen dilery zapchasti volkswagen volkswagen passat tehnicheskaya harakteristika volkswagen golf tyuning tehnicheskie harakteristiki volkswagen katalogi zapchastey volkswagen mikroavtobusy volkswagen

    Jan 20th, 2008

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