Oct 26, 2007

Leo DiCaprio Wasn’t Always a Stud

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I’m sure you’ve lain awake in your bed at night, trying to figure out Leonardo DiCaprio’s secret for scoring such hot lingerie-model kitty. Well, believe it or not, Leo wasn’t always such a ladies’ man. In fact, he graduated from high school jerking it just like you and me. According to Page Six

[Leonardo] was still a virgin at 17, says Russell Crowe in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, on stands today. “You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 17 on ‘The Quick and the Dead [1995],’ ” says Crowe. “He was a virgin, and he’d talk about that constantly. So I’m hoping we have some time so he can fill in what’s happened in between, maybe show some photos, because I’m sure life’s different now.”

Maybe show some photos? Yeah, there’s no better way to catch up with friends you haven’t seen in fifteen years than asking to see pictures of their old girlfriends’ vaginas in action. Another sure winner is pouring them a glass of “Jesus Juice” while asking about their children. Or if they ask, “So, what’ve you been up to lately?” you could pull the shotgun down from over the fireplace, pump it once or twice before pointing it at their head and say “Nothin’ you need to worry about, tough guy.” I’ve found that soiling one’s pants is a real conversational icebreaker.

Ex-girlfriend Bar Rafeali at the Galician Lingerie show in Barcelona last week:

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13 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. litelysaltedNo Gravatar

    Yes! Arniepie! I love you for this, Abby.

    Oct 26th, 2007

  2. spatzNo Gravatar

    awww arnie. such a lovable retard

    Oct 26th, 2007

  3. abbyNo Gravatar

    Thanks, Salty! I have to hand it to Leo — he’s a great actor. I honestly didn’t know he wasn’t retarded until like three years later. I thought he was like Corky from “Life Goes On.”

    Oct 26th, 2007

  4. chrissyNo Gravatar

    Leo is the man!!

    http://www.xtremegadgets.net

    Oct 26th, 2007

  5. margarettaNo Gravatar

    Little Leo fugly.

    Oct 26th, 2007

  6. bionic bunnyNo Gravatar

    i didn’t realized he had achieved stud-hood. was studlyfied? whatever. yech!

    Oct 26th, 2007

  7. NotTrueNo Gravatar

    sorry… but this just is not true. My friend slept with him when he was 18 - and she wasn’t his first.

    Oct 26th, 2007

  8. Bryan StanleyNo Gravatar

    have y’all seen the video of Leo at Neverland Ranch playing with an orangutan?!? it’s some weird ass footage let me tell ya

    Oct 27th, 2007

  9. MalcomNo Gravatar

    Leo is a cool guy. I got a chance to meet him once when they used my store for shooting of a little show where he lived with the Severs!

    http://www.spymac.com/details/?2290046

    Oct 27th, 2007

  10. AxeldeeNo Gravatar

    SURE HE WASN’T ALWAYS A STUD…YOU PUNK..MWAHAHAHAHAHA

    http://WWW.CELEBS.COM

    Oct 29th, 2007

  11. uhhhh yeeaahhhNo Gravatar

    I don’t believe you, NotTrue….
    If your “friend slpet with Leonardo DiCaprio”, then me and Madonna made out last night.
    I’m sorry, but I think that’s b.s.

    Oct 29th, 2007

  12. no nameNo Gravatar

    oh my gosh thats the cutest picture!!!!! i looked just like him when i was 5 years old. he is my long lost big nards

    Dec 17th, 2007

  13. no nameNo Gravatar

    um yeah get your facts straight he was a virgin at 17 not 18 so how do you know, he is such a sweet carefree child he is lucky he got to live out his personality, he will always be my true love my long lost big nards

    Dec 17th, 2007

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